Elements of Change

Waking Up (Whose Turn to Run Now?)

Ezo stirred at the first touch of light that fell through the window, as he always did. He sleepily regretted that his body wouldn't allow him to sleep in, but Jacob had woken him every morning, and the habit still stuck. He opened his eyes and stretched. And froze.

This wasn't his room.

That was most certainly a body behind him and an arm wrapping around his chest, pulling him closer. And he knew who that body belonged to. He didn't want to say it in his head because that would make it real, and Ezo couldn't deal with that now.

He closed his eyes as lips kissed the back of his neck. Kammon wasn't awake, though. Ezo dragged Kammon's arm out from around him and slid out of bed. His pants had been kicked to the floor last night, and he quickly pulled them on. He clearly remembered Kammon tossing his shirt, and Ezo found it draped over the table. He pulled the shirt over his head and quietly left the room.

He closed his own door behind him and turned around, trying to think.

He couldn't. The space was too small, too confining. It was stealing the air from his lungs. Ezo ignored the pounding in his heart as he pushed his hair from his face. He found a tie and pulled his hair back. Damn, he was going to cut it all off if he couldn't get it to stay out of his face today. That would show Kammon! He stomped his way into his boots.

He left his bag but ran out of the inn without looking back. He stopped running and set a slower pace when he was past the guard post. It was too much once he got to the Leria fields. He sat down near the flowers, took a deep breath, and let out a string of curses that would have made his uncle question who he'd been talking with lately.

"I don't have time to deal with this," he told himself after trying ineffectively to meditate the problem away. "I have... important things. Riverkeep, right? I have to get back to Riverkeep. I can't be.... Whatever. I'm not... it was just... circumstances," he finally said. "The bond. It was... how did he learn to kiss like that? If it wasn't for that, I could have kept my head. Or if he wasn't pulling my hair. How is a man supposed to think with all that going on?"

"I thought we agreed to stop running."

Ezo kept his eyes closed because he didn't want to see the smirk on Kammon's face. And he knew he would, because Kammon had been listening in on his rant.

"You agreed to stop and talk. That was not talking last night, and I have every right to run."

He heard Kammon moving closer, and then something dropped into his lap. "Cassen said you left without breakfast. You don't want to miss these. They're one of Cassen's specialties."

Ezo opened his eyes, and saw a towel had been neatly tied. He undid it and found four still-warm rolls. His stomach rumbled, and Ezo took a bite. He moaned as spicy sausage and thick gravy oozed out of the roll. Kammon gave a low chuckle, and Ezo threw a roll at him. "Shut up."

Kammon caught it with another laugh, but fell onto his back and stared at the clouds, eating quietly.

It was... distractingly peaceful.

When Ezo had finished eating, he leaned back, shoulder brushing Kammon's. The other man didn't look at him, but Kammon sighed. "I shouldn't have started this last night. With everything..."

"No. It's not that."

"You ran. And you had cause."

"I ran because I had the opportunity. That's not the same thing," Ezo admitted.

"I'm not good with this sort of thing, Ezo. I'm not good with people. My earliest memories are of the streets until they sent me to the university when I was seven. It didn't make me more social. It made me more rebellious. I don't know how to get along. I'm sorry you, of all people, got stuck with me."

Ezo turned onto his side and looked at Kammon. He didn't like the self-deprecating mood that had settled over Kammon and determined the best way to end it. "Well, if last night was any indication, I know how you can make it up to me."

Kammon turned to look at him, mouth open and surprise wide in his eyes. Ezo was delighted to be able to shut Kammon up, so he rolled over and pinned the man to the ground. He pressed a kiss to Kammon's lips. Kammon wrapped his arms around Ezo's back and deepened the kiss until they were both breathless. When Kammon rolled them over again and settled between Ezo's knees, there was heat in Kammon's eyes.

"Anyone could come riding out," Ezo protested, but Kammon stole the words with a kiss. Ezo forgot all the reasons he shouldn't and fell into Kammon's hands once more.