THE— group stood beneath the bridge, the air thick with the stench of the city and damp concrete. Above them, the sky was a murky gray, as if it was deciding whether to rain or just give up entirely.
Lars, looking about as interested as a brick, examined the scene. "Wow... she's so peaceful. How do you think she got here?" He said, eyes half-lidded, as if he was trying to figure out how he had ended up in this situation at all.
Fugger, not missing a beat, pointed dramatically at the body. "Yeah, no, she's definitely a homicide," he said with the king of confidence you'd except from a guy who'd never seen a real murder, much less committed one.
"Or maybe she just slipped, like people do when they fall of things," [Y/N] added, trying to sound casual while clearly not wanting to be there either.
"She looks like a mob honey," Lars said, squinting at the body. "Yeah, definitely mob. You know the type. Red lipstick, a sad story, probably a lot of paid debts."
"Oh yeah, totally, like she was a mobsters girlfriend," Fugger agreed with so much enthusiasm, you'd think he was in an action move. "I bet she was running from the mob. They're probably watching us right now, plotting our demise."
"Or maybe... just maybe, she was suicidal," [Y/N] said, feeling like maybe this was the obvious answer. But that didn't mean to satisfy Fugger.
"Suicide? Nah. She's too classy for that. Mob. Definitely mob," Fugger said, waving his hands around like a jazz musician.
Lars just stared blankly at Fugger. "You think she jumped? That's your theory?"
"Well yeah," Fugger shot back. "Or.. I mean.. she could've been pushed, but that's a whole story."
"You guys are weird.." [Y/N] muttered, narrowing her eyes at both of them. Mostly Fugger.
Fugger didn't seem to hear her. Instead, he was already onto his next point. "It's obvious. She's too chic to have just fallen. She was on the run, man! The mob is like the most obvious explanation."
"I don't know, man," Lars said. "Maybe she jumped. Maybe it's the end of the line for her." His voice was completely flat, as though he couldn't possibly care less about the dead body on the ground.
But Fugger was on a roll. "She definitely didn't do this alone. Look at that, she's too foxy to just die by herself. Look at those shoes," he said, pointing like a game show host. "You think a woman wearing those would just throw herself off a bridge? Nah. She was probably chased."
"Right, right.." [Y/N] said, sarcasm dripping from every word. "Because shoes are totally the deciding factor in whether someone survives a fall."
"Exactly!" Fugger nodded enthusiastically. "Four coats. That's all she needed. Four coats."
"Four coats?" Lars asked, blinking at Fugger. "What, you think four coats are gonna save her from falling off a bridge? What is this, some kind of superhero origin story?"
"NO!" Fugger said, obviously offended. "Mythbusters proved it. Four coats! You'll bounce off the ground like a damn trampoline. It's science!"
Lars shifted his gaze to [Y/N] and raised an eyebrow. "You buying this?"
"I mean, I guess if you want to die in the most ridiculous way possible.." she said, completely unamused.
"Four coats," Fugger said again, crossing his arms in an 'I'm totally right pose'. "Mythbusters. Science. That's all I'm saying."
"Right, well, id rather wear five coats, just to be safe," [Y/N] retorted, sarcastic as hell.
Fugger turned, wide-eyed, looking genuinely horrified. "Five coats? You'll overheat before you even hit the ground!"
"Sounds like a great way to die, yeah," Lars said dryly, barely hiding his amusement.
"Four coats. Trust me." Fugger repeated, but his voice lost some of its confidence, like even he knew it was a ridiculous idea. "Okay, fine. Let's just... prove it."
And so, because apparently this was happening, Fugger found a random homeless guy holding a sign that read 'Will do anything 4 crack". The guy was a little confused, but Fugger, not wanting to lose momentum, decided now was the time to put his theory to the test
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____| 𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅 |___ ᯾_________________᯾
᯾꧁︎-𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒-꧂᯾
𝐅𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑; He didnt like it when you doubted him and not to mention your hits hurt..he was so happy to prove you wrong.
𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐒; He thought it was funny when you hit Fugger, he did wished he actually were to talk over Fugger one day
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