JUST A BET

PART 36

Jahnvi's pov

I came home and went straight in my room and started punching the wall while crying.. my mind was so numb with the emotions I was feeling right now that the pain I was giving to myself didn't felt .. I punched the wall continuously until my legs gave up and I sat on the floor crying.. why do I have to face sadness everytime I try to be happy.. don't I deserve to be happy ? Don't I deserve love ? Am I that worthless ? Why everyone always becomes the enemy of my happiness.. WHY !? WHY CANT PEOPLE LET ME BE HAPPY .. now that bitch also came in between .. why does everyone always makes me feel like this .. why does everyone have to make me feel insecure..

What wrong have I done to everyone.. I always want to do good to others .. I never think bad for anyone.. even the slightest thought of it makes me drown in guilt .. I always want good for people.. then why can't they see me happy.. Am I that bad ? Will he leave me ? Am I not good enough for him ? I think he deserves better then me.. my mind was clouded with endless thoughts .. I choked on my tears I couldn't breath properly .. suddenly my gaze fell on my hand my knuckles were bleeding badly..
That's the only thing I can do to calm my anger.. self harm.. I know I shouldn't be doing this .. but I think it's my fault.. I always think it's my fault even if it isn't..
Idk why God made me like that..

it's better to die then like this.. sometimes I feel so tired of everything .. I just wanna give up.. but then I remember my parents .. my friends.. they are my everything.. my mom dad and my girls.. they always have my back.. I need to live for them.. and at last i need to live for myself too.. cause deep down I know I deserve happiness .. I was still sobbing sitting on the floor my head was hurting so badly now.. then I remembered I need to text my girls.. so I texted in our grp that I have reached home safely and I am fine.. they know I am not fine I told them not to come home.. they will kill me if they saw the wound on my knuckles.. they always give me lecture that I shouldn't do this.. but I can't help.. I miss my mom and dad.. they will come soon .. I just wanna hug them tightly.. I wiped my tears and went to wash my face .. I look so terrible right now.. I cleaned my wound and put some ointment on it.. I hope it heals before I meet my mom dad and my girls.. I don't even want aarav to see this.. I changed my clothes in my pj's and went to sleep as my head was hurting so badly.. sleep is my escape from all the sorrow and sadness..

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I was reading my fantasy novel it's evening now.. I took a really long nap .. I was busy in reading my book that's when I heard knock on my door..

Come in .. I said my throat has became a little sore because of crying..

That's when the door opened and he was standing there .. tears welled in my eyes just by seeing him again.. God why tf have you made me like this.. he was holding a pink teddy .. a bouquet of red roses and a bag .. he came inside closing the door and kept everything on the bed .. I didn't said anything I just threw all my pillows on him . He dodged each of them making me more furious .. I was sad and furious at the same time..

Jahnvi- WHY THE FUCK DID YOU COME TO MY HOME GO AND FUCK WITH THAT GIRL .. WHY ARE YOU HERE .. NOW YOU REMEMBER YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND HUH .. I yelled at him ..

Aarav- princess.. I ..

I glared at him and cut him off saying..

Jahnvi- DID I ASKED YOU TO COME HERE .. JUST FUCKING GO AWAY.. YOU HAVE A LOT OF CHICKS GO FUCK THEM .. I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE.. I yelled throwing daggers from my eyes.. by now my tears have started falling from my eyes.. the person who promised to not make me cry just made me cry..

Aarav- princess.. j.just let me explain .. I..

I again cut him off ..

Jahnvi- DID I ASK FOR YOUR FUCKING EXPLANATION.. I SAID GET OUT.. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.. I DONY WANT TO..