Save Me (Eng) | Snamione

post war dream

The war had been over for six months, but in his dreams it raged on.

Night for night.

He would have almost lost his life had it not been for Hermione Granger, he would have died, bleeding miserably to death, like an animal that got in front of a car but didn't die directly.

He was alive because of her, and he hated her for it. It would have been the end of his torment, but she had prolonged his suffering. Some days he was grateful to her, but those days were rare. Some days he was happy about his second chance, even if he didn't know how to use it.

Whenever he closed his eyes on a bad day, he saw the panic in her brown eyes again, and heard her beg him to stay awake, her voice so full of fear. Some days he thought about looking for her to talk to her, to thank her for saving him, but he always didn't because he didn't want to see her.

Did she know how much he suffered from her pity?

The truth was, she knew it, because she too was suffering the consequences of the war that had claimed so many lives.

Hermione Granger initially wanted to pretend everything was fine, that none of this bothered her. While helping Madame Pomfrey tend to the injured and doing her part in rebuilding Hogwarts, she grieved for the friends she had lost. Hermione grieved for Lupin, Tonks, but also for the classmates she knew, but the death of Fred hit her hardest, who in some situations was the best friend she could wish for.

She knew that Snape survived because of her, that he was fine so far, and yet she agonized over the "what ifs". There were dark shadows under her bleary brown eyes and her once stubborn locks hung down her back as if they too had given up.Though she'd gone down in history as part of the Golden Trio, she had given up. Hermione Granger, the most talented witch of her age had given up. She couldn't and didn't want to anymore. Sleeping was only possible with potions, but they started to hit her stomach, which is why she resorted to muggle pills, which soon had no effect. It was maddening.

What would be the point of going back to Hogwarts? Why even get up?She couldn't take the looks from Molly anymore. She couldn't take Harry anymore, who had gotten fame to his head. And Ron? She really couldn't take him anymore as well. Not to mention the others, because the others acted as if Fred's death didn't bother her that much, she hardly knew him, but it was a lie.

Hermione wanted to pack her things and run away, anywhere, as long as it was far from the Burrow, away from the pity and sorrow, but she couldn't escape the nightmares. They followed her everywhere. Two months, in a small apartment in the Muggle world, eventually turned into four, which then became a whole half a year.

Hogwarts reopened, Harry, Ginny, Ron and the others lived on, but Hermione couldn't keep up. Her heart remained in the war, along with her childhood and all the plans she had. A fresh start sounded too good to be true, but sometimes you have to take a chance when you have it, and she did. The new beginning consisted of a job in London, as a clerk in a muggle shop, far from the magical world, and for the moment she was settled.

The wand gathered dust in a box under her bed with the other things from her Hogwarts days, and up until the day Severus Snape stumbled into the shop, where she worked, her life was more relaxed than it had been in a long time. Since leaving the magical world a year ago, she has been better than ever. The nightmares lessened, and she had a connection, friends, and a safe environment. Nobody knew that she was a war hero, because the magical war had never happened here.

"Granger?" a man said, incredulous one day as she was arranging a shelf. She didn't use the name anymore, so it was very surprising when someone called her that. She quickly jumped to her feet and whirled around only to see a familiar face. "Snape?" She sounded as incredulous as her former professor.An awkward silence followed, a staring competition at its best. They hadn't seen each other for a year, and both had imagined their reunion differently.

"What are you doing here?" Servus asked, brushing his shoulder-length hair out of his face. His black eyes had lost all luster and Hermione felt like she was looking into a mirror. Hermione gave the faintest smile. "I work here, what do you do here?"

"Shopping," was the chilled reply. There he was, the old Snape flashed through again for a moment, but he disappeared as quickly as he was there. The younger nodded. "If you can't find something, I won't stray too far." With these words, she turned back to the shelf that she had cleaned up before. Her heart was racing like after a marathon. Seeing him again, here in a place so far removed from the magical world, threw her off course for a moment, but she quickly recovered.

Severus shook his head and went on his way. He kept thinking about the encounter and forgot half of what was on his shopping list.

What neither of them considered was that there was a saying, which was mostly true.

You always meet twice.

Severus was standing in the shop again, the shopping list firmly in hand. This time he wouldn't flee immediately, no, this time he would approach her and ask how she was doing. Smalltalk. Something he hated more than anything, but his therapist had advised him to step out of his comfort zone."Granger." He had to do a double take as he turned her around to face him. Glasses on, hair shorter than last time. "Try Smith next time." She smiled a fake smile. "Smith?" he asked. "My mother's maiden name, I... I didn't want anyone from school to find me." The younger confessed, eyeing her former professor, who had tied his hair up in a bun.

"I see." Severus took a deep breath. "How are you?" he asked, feeling so out of place. "It's getting better, how are you?" "Pretty much the same." It was a lie meant to protect against the truth.

"Hermione, are you coming? We need you in camp for a moment." One of her colleagues called and she looked at Severus apologetically. "Maybe we'll see each other again." "Maybe."

The third time they met in a pub, and the fourth time she was on his doorstep with a bag of takeout in hand. "I think we should talk." After the tenth meeting, movie nights, dinner together, and talking became a habit. Little by little, Severus was learning to trust her and day by day it was becoming easier to talk to her about what was happening at Hogwarts.

"Do you think it will ever get easier?" Hermione asked one night as they were watching some movie that was so bad Severus wondered why they were even watching it.

"Eventually." He mumbled into her hair. It kind of became a habit, sitting together on the sofa, his arm around her shoulders, her head on his shoulder, until one or both fell asleep.

Severus would never admit it, but since Hermione was an integral part of his life, he'd gotten better and slowly but surely found his way back to life. And maybe one day he would be able to let go of Lily.

Perhaps.

Maybe one day Hermione could let something like love into her life again, but for the here and now it was perfect the way it was.