Never forget

Chapter 14

Are you alone? 

Do you need someone?

Is it too late to talk?

Did I wait too long?

Thousand words, don't change a thing...

The new Nicki Minaj's song is beautiful, even amazing. The crying game, I am wrong or it's the game of our lives? It's not what we are living right now? For me, yes. 

Who-o-o-o-o, Who-o-o-o-o

We're back to playing, we're back to playing

Who-o-o-o-o, Who-o-o-o-o 

We're back to playing, the crying game... 

Jacob brang me at Cassy's house. They said that I could stay there the time that I wanted but, I know that her parents are not that sure. They know my story but, they don't understand it like Jack and Cas. I don't know how I will incorporate myself into her family but... Yes, I want to. I want one place to be accepted and I count on her family to do it. I just want to act like their daughter or close... 

Returning at school is really not in my plan. I survived and it's really strange. I'm suppose to be dead, bloody in the woods. People are going to judge me more than everything and I don't want to imagine how Greg's friends will want to kill me. He is in jail! He is only 17 years old and he is in jail... Because of me, no because what he did me. I never thought that he could be in the plan, plan to extermine me. Say that I told Cassy to go see him. Isn't a big mistake? Yes is it but I can't blame myself for it, because I didn't know it at all. I was innocent, I knew nothing but people, people just wanted to kill me, thinking that I was good at nothing, a shit, just nothing! How can people think that of me just after William's lie! It's started like this! Just because of William, who freaking abused of me! Oh my gosh! I'm mad but really! I need to take a gun and just shoot every single person who thought bad about me. But, if I do this, I will go in jail, and I seriously, I don't want that. 

I was in Cassy's room with Jacob and her. We were all lengthen on the bed, hands in the hands. We were all thinking about our lives. 

-Hannah, can I talk to you in private? Jacob asked me.

-Hum, yes why? 

-Because I want to ask you something a little ankward... He said

-Ok... Is it ok Cassy? I asked her

-Yes, yes you can go, I don't mind. Cassy said. 

-Ok, come Hannah, Jack said.

I followed him in the bathroom, I know in the bathroom.  He took my hand and he started to talk.

-I have some questions to ask you. He said

-Ok...

-Do you love me?

-If I love you? More than everything! I said

-Me to babe.

-Ok, do you have another question because, I don't think that it was that ankward... I said

-Yes, I wanted to know, if you, you were ready...

-Ready for what...? 

-To go farrer with me.. Like go at the last step... He said

-Like do sex..? I said

-Yeah.

-Hum, maybe.. Finally not maybe, yes I want it. 

-Are you serious?

-More than serious...

-OK, let's do it!

-Yo now?

-Why not? He said

-But Cassy...

-She is going to wait...

-OK. I smiled

He took me in his arms and he put me on the counter. He kissed me on the neck, on the face, on the lips, everywhere. It remained me of this weekend, I had only this in my mind. I was not having a good moment, not at all. I didn't know how to get this out of my mind. The only way was to stop.

-STOP! I screamed

-What? Why stop? He said

-Because it remains me of this nightmare, William.

-Are you serious? We will never be able to do it if you always think about this. You need to move on Hannah!

-But Jack, he raped me! It's normal that I think about this! With all of the events that happened, how can I move on! It's not at all helping me and you don't seem like you understand it !

-I didn't know... Sorry I didn't think about that... I'm really sorry.

-It's ok. But please, give me time, I want our first time to be nice, for me and much for you.

-Ok, I will but please, don't let me wait too long, I need you and I am in lack of you and your beautiful body. 

-Ok, I can't swear, but I will try.

-Ok, thank you babe. 

-I love you bae, I said.

-I love you to.

I will never forget this weekend, when William abused of me, and all the bad things that it gived me.