It was a long, 3 hour, drive to Dallas. Jack and Jack took separate cars to avoid suspicion of their firey relationship. The plan was for them to meet after the parade and have hot steamy sex. Meanwhile, from in a warehouse, Marilyn Monroe sat with her arms around a sniper rifle. As Jack rode by in his convertible, Marilyn Monroe put her finger on the trigger and squeezed. She missed like a fucking idiot. She fired again and missed again because she's really fucking dumb. "Third times, the charm!" Remarked Marilyn Monroe as she finally put a bullet through Jack's skull. Screams erupted from the audience at the parade. Jack, despite having no eyes, cried a million tears. Marilyn Monroe ran out of the warehouse and gave the weapon to some random guy. This random guy was Lee Harvey Oswald.
