where the flowers grew | a chris sturniolo story

one

Sometimes we get hurt in life. Life is full of happy memories, we get sad, emotional, feel pain, grief, joy. We smile, cry, laugh, and create moments we would never forget. But most importantly we make mistakes. We learn, we forgive, we forget, remember, we enjoy. We grow through out mistakes. I made a few of them, some preventable, some not. And as much as I regret them now, each and everyday, there is no way to change them, as much as I would love to go back into time and change what happened between us. That's not hires one world works. They are inked way too deep into my mind that I could never seem to forget them. Sometimes we fall in love with the wrong people, sometimes it's right person but the wrong time. I like believe that was Chris and me. I agree he was my person, but we were far too young and naive to try and continue something.

Sometimes we feel wrong doing the right thing and other times we feel right doing the wrong thing, but we never know what's right and wrong until it's too late to stop it from becoming a mistake. We meet people through every stage of our life. Some we get to know, some we walk by as strangers. We could never be too sure whether they will have good or bad intentions when to comes to our hearts, but we trust them, blindly. When we're young we are blind by warning signs and red flags. We trust them although we can never assume why they are going to do to us.

I tripped and fell, hard, against the pavement of the city park we first and last met at. Instead of falling for the arms of a guy, he never caught me. The wrong guy, that's worse than falling onto the cold hard ground. Hurts thousands time worse facing someone you gave everything to, expecting for them to do to the same. Falling to the ground, I would expect a scar on my knee or a bruise that would tattoo my knee for a few days before turning it's light yellow and going away, but falling for the wrong guy cause my heart constant bleeding, because he stabbed a knife and twisted until I couldn't endure the pain any longer.

It caused me so much pain emotionally felt more disgusted by my own unrecognisable reflection staring back at me in the mirror, rather than what he was doing to me. He didn't just ruin me, but my life. I gave him free access to hurt me, open arms, open heart, to hurt me in every way possible.

And he did. He hurt me. He wrapped me around his finger and then destroyed me. Perhaps I destroyed myself because of him. I suffered. I cried. I felt hollowed out. I felt broken and lonely. He tore me into tiny pieces day by day from day one, but I didn't notice. I was blinded with his green-blue-grey eyes. I was just too in love.

It was my mistake; to fall in love at first sight, with the wrong guy.

But I also hurt him. I broke him. A beautiful, tragic story about two people who loved each other so much they broke their heart, sounds terrible.

But maybe this thing we had was a masterpiece, until we tore it all and now it's a crumbled paper to join the million overflowing the ocean.

Every story has a beginning, middle and end. Some stories end happy, some have a sad ending and some have no ending. It is in the author's hand to pick one of those endings and create scenarios around the character's life. Life was a gift given to us, some gifts aren't wanted, some are everything you could ever dream of and some are a little of everything. Nothing we could choose to have, but something we could choose to end. It was in our story.

We change. We reach a point where we can't seem to recognize our own selves. People change, and manipulate us, break us, tear us down, throw us around like paper, leave their marks on our hearts, brains, and skin and disappear when they're done destroying everything about us.

I realized all of this too late. I realized this when I was on the verge of giving up. I realized this when I hit rock bottom. I realized this when I was broken and torn into a million pieces, no one seemed to care about. Life is filled of learning lessons. Mistakes are our teachers. They teach is something new each and every day for the rest of our lives. Once we're older, we realize that our life is a matter of our choices and we have to make the right ones. It will never go wrong. We'll regret those mistakes we made in our past, for sure, its normal, but we can't undo them—or delete the memories out of our minds. Instead, we should be thankful we made them simply because of how much they helped us grow as a person.