Reason

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It was Raura. I was right, I knew her voice anywhere. I'm definitely in a bad situation right now. My heart is beating a thousand times faster than before. Even though Rau and I are best friends, I never told her about him. I kept it from her and from everyone else, I was too afraid. I knew the risks and what the consequences will be, so I decided not to tell anyone about my actions. She's gazing at me, confused, and her eyes screaming 'What the fuck is going on?' I realized that I never did let go of his hand, and that's what probably Raura is thinking of at this moment. Now, I feel even more afraid to speak up. Trembling, I let go of his hand though I was much hesitant to do so. He got the message and nodded at me. "I'll be right back when you need me so." He said before walking back away. Sweat was dripping down my skin, my fists clutched so tightly on my shirt, and my throat was burning. The nervousness was eating me alive. Mustering up courage, I finally was able to utter words from my dry mouth.

"Rau? What are you doing here?" I tried my best to lighten the atmosphere at this situation, but to no avail, it remained as it is. I could feel Raura's aggravation just right across, and this panda is scary when she gets mad. She spoke up, obviously confused and frustrated. "Shouldn't I be the one asking that huh? Ms. Sugisaki? Break's been done for over 30 minutes now, you're way too late, and you're spending it with a guy? Nene, I thought you were better than that?!" I was trying to talk back, but the words I tried so hard to think of aren't coming out of my mouth, leaving me with wrong choice of wordings.
"Raura, it's not what you think-" She cut me off angrily replying, "Then what is it?! I've spent the past hour looking for you and now I see you here with a boy whose name I don't even know, and it's not what I think?!"
"Just let me explain! Raura, please just listen to me."
"This better a good explanation, Nene. I know you better than this."

I texted him that he should go back to where he's staying at, so me and Rau could have a long talk about the situation. I could tell that even he was quivering from fear just from the look in his eyes earlier. This has gotten a bit out of hand. Raura is still heated with frustration at me, obviously. We went to the nearby park which took us about 10 minutes to walk to, it was near the Amuse building too so we could go back after this. "They'll definitely scold me for sure." I said as we both sat on the park bench, half a meter away from each other. "Definitely." Her response was quite short and sharp, it always did bother me when she does that. "Are you still mad at me?" I uttered back at her. She suddenly hugged me, and I couldn't help but hug back. Tears were flowing out of my eyes once again, I was happy and sad at the time. She spoke "Of course not. I couldn't stay mad at you, you know. But please, explain all of what I've seen earlier." She gazed at me again and I saw the loving friend I've had for years now, the Raura who was always there for me.
"I'm sorry I couldn't say it earlier. I was too afraid, I guess." I whispered but just loud enough so she could hear it.

Each word that came out from my mouth was so gentle and it sounded like I was singing a lullaby, and bit by bit I told Raura about him. From what she saw earlier, and from the very beginning where we met for the first time. I never realized how much I was into it until she giggled at me. "What are you laughing at?" I looked at her, confused. Her soft giggles burst out as hard laughter as she stared at me longer. "My oh my, Nene. You're so into telling me this, you should see the look on your face! You're truly in love." I was absolutely speechless, she's making fun of me. This is so embarrassing. "Looks like Crybaby Nene isn't a baby anymore." She patted my shoulder and chuckled. My face was flushing hard and all I felt was utter embarrassment. "Mou! Stop that! Are you mocking me?!" I retorted back at her, this is truly humiliating. "I'm not mocking you, Nene-don. I'm just happy that you've grown up. Ahh I sound like a Mother."
Raura has always sounded like a lovely mother since a long time ago, she cares for you a hundred and one percent and protects you as much. "You've always been like a Mother, not just me but to all of Sakura Gakuin."

Me and Rau then decided to go back to practice. Surely, I'll get scolded for not only being late but for causing trouble by worrying them. While walking back, Raura held my hand and told me not to worry about anything, that this will pass as long as I never do it again. I knocked on the practice room, peeked a bit and took slow steps inside. All of the member were looking at me and Rau, but most of them were focused on me. I felt a surge of discomfort throughout my whole body. Hii-chan and Marina gave me looks of worries, and other than them, I didn't want to see what kind of looks the other members were giving me. I feel like their respect they had for me suddenly washed out, it's like I disappointed them so much. Unexpectedly, one by one, each and everyone of them came close to me and hugged me tightly. They were all asking where I've been and whatever the heck was I doing. I even heard Moa-chan shout "Stupid Nene-chan making us all worried!" I've apologized to them and told them I was alright. The big part was that I lied to them about how I was away. I told them that I was just going out for fresh air but then deeper into Tokyo, I got lost. The guilt I was feeling was heavy, but this is the right thing to do for now. I'm not ready to tell them yet, and they're most definitely not ready for whatever I have to say, well except for Hinata and Marina. I know that they knew that I lied. Why? Because they've been eyeing me the whole time, giving me weird looks.

We finished whatever was left of practice time and got ready to go home. We usually stayed in at most times but majority of the members went home ahead and there were four of us left. Marina and Hii-chan as well as Rau walked towards me. Hinata was the first one to speak up. "So do you mind telling us about the real reason you were out? You got lost? Nene, you never get lost!" Raura and Marina calmed her down a bit, all I could do was gaze at her looking really sorry. "Now now, we can all talk about this thoroughly, okay? Let's stay calm." Marina finally uttered, she smiled at all of us making the atmosphere a bit lighter. Hinata spoke up again, a bit calmer this time. "Alright. But first, Raura. Do you know anything of this?" Rau looked at me with worry in her eyes but I nodded at her, reassuring that it's all fine. "Yes, we've talked about it on the way back here." She straightforwardly said it, cut through.
"Well, you better explain everything very clearly, Nene." With Hinata saying that, I nodded once more and said apologized yet again for my actions.

It was way past afternoon and we were all walking back home, the train station almost at our reach. The sun that was setting shone what little light it had left over us, and the silence was peaceful for this troubling day. Shockingly, they didn't get mad at my reason. They even got happy for me, but I told them it wasn't something to be happy about as our situation is getting worse than ever. "You know, if I had told you guys before, this wouldn't so hard right now." Those words suddenly came out of my mouth, still flustered with the state of events. Marina walked over closer to me, kindly responding to what I just said. "Nene-don, you don't have to feel like that. As your friends we understand why you had to do hide it. We all know of the consequences."
"She's right Nene." Raura hung her arm over my shoulder. Hinata came over closer too. "We'll always be there for each other no matter what!" I laughed. Our friendship sure is amazing. I smile at them as we all laugh together. I hope we won't get broken by all of what is right now.

"Alright, let's go home now."