There's no Escape

[16]

I was laying in the living room couch, staring at the ceiling, thinking of everything and nothing. My mind is full of thoughts but all of them are useless. Practically, I'm wasting my time doing this, but I have nothing better, so I just lay here completely immobile and lost in thoughts.

My eyes drift from the ceiling to the little shelf in the upper part of the wall, above the TV. There are a few frames with pictures of different things, like myself or Willow, and, surprisingly, Nathan. But they're all when he was young, obviously. I don't know how I even kept them so well without getting broken or smashed. 

There are also a few knickknacks that make it look more decorated. One of them is a fake flower that Nathan bought me some day in the past. It was fake because he knew perfectly that I couldn't take care of a real plant, it would end up blacker than Voldemort's conscience. 

I heave out a sigh and looking at the flower I remember I have to water the damn plants in my damn garden at this damn time of the day. Trying to shake the laziness out of my body, well, tiredness, I finally make my way out of the living room. 

I walk to the hallway where the main door is situated and get closer to one of the window at its sides. I stick my head out of it slightly, just to see the awful weather lingering in the air. Dark clouds and definitely no bright sun in sight. 

But I'm not surprised because, well, that sunny weather just appeared in my own made up world so now that I'm in real world again, I see the weather as it is. It doesn't bother me at all, I like it, somehow. 

Once I'm done analyzing the weather, I place my hand in the door handle and open it, stepping outside. A cold breeze hits me in the face the second I kay a foot outside, it's a big change because my house it's so warm inside.

I make my way towards the garden and crouch down to grab the watering can while looking at my beautiful flowers and bushes. My life might be destroyed but my flowers will never, they're like my babies. Yes, I take more care of my plants than of me, so?

As the water starts splashing through their soft and dried leaves, I start hearing weird noises surrounding me. I look around while the water soaks the plants but I don't see anyone, so I just shrug it off. Weird noises doesn't always mean that a serial killer is standing right behind you with the biggest knife ever waiting to slash you, right?

I let out a little giggle out my throat because of my own thoughts, continuing to water my plants. When i'm done, I put the watering can down and look around again, as if trying to confirm that there's nothing wrong. And then, I step inside the house again, closing the door behind me.

I look down at a little coffee table right next to the main door, which has some stuff on it. I walk to it and lean down because it's a pretty short table for some reason, I don't even know why I bought it but I did. 

My hand starts searching through the little things I have here, most of them are just decoration or flowers, for decoration as well, but I'm actually searching for something important. I said I'd say why I have to take so many pills and all that dead boring problems, and i think I'm ready to say it, finally. 

I grab one of the papers that are laying on top of the surface and bring it closer to my face so I can read it better. It's a doctor prescription. Remember how I said I didn't want to go to the doctor because he always told me I was completely alright? Well, that all was a whole lie. I was just scared to go again, I didn't want to hear what I already knew, again.

It's a prescription he made me a long time ago, and it gives the name of some pills and when I have to take them. But the most important thing is the reason why. I read it and my heart falls as if it was the first time reading it.

Mild dementia, depression and schizophrenia.

You could say they are pretty bad illnesses, and they certainly are. I've lived with them for a long long time. Having just depression, for example, is bad. Well, imagine having three. And the fact that they are the worst kills me.

I take a deep breath and put the paper down. My entire body calls for me to burn that fucking paper down but at the same time, something tells me to not do it. Even if I know it's useless to have it. 

But just then, I hear some rustling sounds of my own bushes moving. I perk my head up and look out the window, frowning. I take another deep breath just to regain some courage to go outside and look at what's making those noises again. 

I place my hand in the door handle and hesitate for a moment, but then I open it and step outside. I look around, trying to be as quiet as possible as I go down the little stairs of the door. I somehow want to hear another sound so I can confirm there's someone or something here, hiding in my bushes. Or maybe it's just the soft wind. 

But when I was about to turn around and head inside again, I hear a louder sound, this time a sound of heavy footsteps lurking in some shadows I'm not seeing right now. Maybe it's just my head, or maybe I'm about to get attacked.

Shaking those thoughts away, i walks to my bushes. My breath catches in my throat as I hold my breath the second I feel some kind of warmth behind me, or approaching behind me. 

But I turn around and there's nothing behind me. Is it hiding somewhere?