Almost our Destiny

They say that when you love someone, you’re just having some pure sentiments. I always believed that, not until I met this person who changed my perspective. I would say that love is a feeling that comes from different reasons. It could hurt you, break you, lead you to your development, sanity and has lessons.

There are different kinds of love that I know, but one thing for sure is the kind of love in which both parties know each other’s feelings, yet find it hard to commit. “Reciprocated '' is what they define when both partners have the same feelings toward each other, but what about when you feel too much that also makes you question your worth?   When you're being naive, but your heart keeps telling you that there is something special inside you and when you find out, it comes to your senses that you aren't destined for each other and you can't do anything about it. How would you feel?

I came from a family who has an average state of living. By the time I was born, I already knew that I was made and delivered with a great purpose and a hard path that was waiting for me, and it really is challenging.

I am just an only child and daughter in my family. When I was three years old, my father left us to rest in heaven. He had some accident during his voyage according to my grandma. Yes, he was a seafarer and several months after it happened, my mom went abroad to stand for me and for grandma because she is also an only child.

Growing up in the hand of my Lola, I could say that it’s really hard for you to meet who you truly are. They’re quite strict and hard on me, and guessing it's for the best is the only thing I thought to come up with my wants. It’s like they’re the ones who control me, for what I must do and don’t. It’s boring and exhausting sometimes to always think that you just have to stay in your own home on weekdays reading or playing games with yourself and to go to your school during weekdays. It’s like nothing new happens in your life, but as a child, you’ll always have to respect your parents or guardians and follow what they say, and that’s what I did.

It lasted for all my elementary and highschool years and I have adapted to their mentality. I learned to set boundaries over needs and wants, what should be the first and last, and some things that really made me a mature person. Very mature for my age.

I graduated highschool at 16 years old with honors and a special award in Mathematics, my favorite subject. My mother enrolled me in the most prestigious school here in our province, Siquijor University. They say that being a senior high student is full of exciting things, including friends, crushes, adventures, many many things, and all of it was true.

“Elaine Elaine, the bus is already here”, my Lola said.

It’s my first day of school as a senior high school student. I was running through the door and kissed her before I entered the bus. The bus has only one seat left available, and I sat there without hesitation. Beside me is a tall, fair skinned, average looking boy whose name is Rome, based on his ID. He waved at me but I didn’t pay attention to him.

When the bus stopped, I was the first person who got off the bus, because our seat was near the exit. The school is quite spacious and the main entrance is very elegant. I tapped my ID and went to our room.

“A warm welcome to each and every one, my name is Elaine M. Suarez, 16 years of age and currently residing in Barangay Bontod”, I said in a very light tone and went to my seat afterwards. Our teacher