There once was a girl in my life, she meant everything to me. We promised to love each other no matter what will happen. We sometimes played the I love you more game.
In the end I won the game i guess, but at what cost? It began with an argument, which escalated quickly followed by anger, madness and sadness. I gave her the silent treatment...
This was the biggest mistake I made in my whole life. How can I be so cruel to a person that loved me no matter what. She was the most beautiful person I've seen. I once laughed at a video comment from a guy she sended me, in which he said: If you're would turn me into stone, I would do nothing, but gaze at the eyes of yours. While having my last breath I'd be statue, which saw beauty for eternity.
I was so naive. I should've agreed, because her eyes were my favorite. She only saw the best in me, the one she loved, but now I'm nothing, but an asshole, which couldn't think straight.
She steadily began to lose feelings, which I realized when it was to late. She wanted to break up with me and fell in love with a new person, that cared for her. Well actually she cheated but that doesn't matter anymore. I am an idiot for not listening, understanding and caring properly and now I'm here sitting alone. I wanted to stand for my mistakes and make things right, but it was too late for asking for forgiveness and trying to working things out. I created the opposite by making it worse and worse. I only wanted her to stay and love me again but that led to nothing. I've tried so hard to make things right, find solutions to her and my problems, thought about what to do, how to help, but I wouldn't change anything anymore. I've realized to late. It was all my fault. I've destroyed the relationship, by trying to save something that was fading away. I am dumb.
Coming back home, thinking about how she has fun and enjoying life again, while me being miserable and a failure at home. I've went outside, trying to clear my mind. I walked into a forest, her favorite place and screamed and screamed as loud as I can. I couldn't help, but to cry for days eating nothing. Not even sleeping was possible. My life was ruined by myself... No one should ever do the same as I did. I couldn't communicate with her, which also was a big factor for her losing interest.
But the biggest fraud in the relationship was me and I didn't noticed.
I still love her and I've realized that now.
She made me happy and loved me when I was at my lowest. No one could replace her. She will forever be I my mind and I can't move on.
Maybe I don't have to, but it's better to do something about it. I will always love her and keep my promise, even though she doesn't feel the same way anymore. I will take the long way, where there is no right or wrong. I don't care if it's right or wrong. I will never love someone like her, because she was different. She was special and kind to be. I've felt so comfortable around her and she even healed my inner child. Now I'm broken in variables beyond repair. She was the one for me, but I think I wasn't the one for her. Maybe it's different in the future and she someday will love me again and sees me how I was in her eyes, in the beginning of our story. Well every story ends someday and a new chapter starts. That's not what I want thought. I want to stay with her until the end, like the earth and the sun. I don't want to regret my decision in life anymore. I want to love her and fight for it.
It wouldn't be love if would just give up.
Well love is many things, not just feelings.
She teached me that love is so much more. Real love is not always perfect it will never be and it's not easy either. Love is a decision you made. You made the decision to stay with the person and love them care for them...
But with love also comes pain. That is a normal thing.
In the end I just wanted to say, that I love you and always will. My darling, my flower, my love I will always be there for you and I hope you develop feelings for me agajn. Know that if the world takes turns on you and you think there is no one by your side, remember that I always be there for you. ❤️🩹
In love
Your asshole and Person who loves you
Tomy Doan
cr: Fr0ggylun4
words: 827
