Building Bridges (l.s.)

prologue

I needed to clear my mind. I needed to get away from everything. Grabbing a jacket, I stepped out the door, walking down to the nearest gas station. I headed right to the isle I had been down far too many times. I took the pack of cigarettes and payed the guy at the counter and then left.

The air outside was dense, it was hard to breathe. I sauntered around the block and pulled out my lighter from my jacket pocket. Putting the stick between my lips, I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes as the feeling overwhelmed me, the smoke slowly starting to fill my lungs. The information I had just received from Louis was still trying to wrap around my mind. I couldn't comprehend, or understand, why this would happen.

I sat on a bench outside of an empty store, and took another long drag of my cigarette. Tears brimmed my eyes as I thought of the future. I don't cry, I shouldn't cry. I was tough, and I was going to survive this. A lot of me has changed since I met Louis, though. My bad habits had been dropped, my crime rates have gone down, and my head is screwed on a little bit tighter than it was before. What was I to do now other than to go back to my old habits? The weight on my heart wasn't as heavy when I took a puff of the nicotine stick.

Louis makes me feel something, something that filled the void where my guidance is supposed to be. He makes me want to write down my feelings for him, but no words that I know could be enough. Louis is the prescription to my madness, and it seems I'm slowly running out of medication.

I roamed around the town a little bit longer, until I found myself on the front steps of Building Bridges. I looked up at the building, remembering all the times Louis and I shared in there. From the day we first met, to the last puzzle we put together, and everything in between. I remember the day we first met. I was so pissed off to be there, and Louis, being the little ball of sunshine he is, started talking to me anyway. The more and more he rambled on about how his favorite color is yellow, and how he wishes he could play musical chairs one last time, the more I fell in love with him.

When I arrived back at Louis' mom's house, I walked in the door to a darkened room. I hung my jacket up and walked towards Louis' room. I set my hand on the door knob but paused before opening it. The sound of light sobs filled the space on the other side of the door. I debated whether to leave him alone or go in and comfort him. Instead I decided on sitting and listening.

"But mom," I recognized the voice as Louis', "what if he leaves me? I mean, it's too much to handle. The wheelchair, the breakdowns, and now this? It's all too much mom. He's not even here now, there's no way he'll stay with me any longer." Again he broke into tears, and I was close to breaking into mine. I hadn't meant to leave him, or give him the impression that I was going to. I needed to set things straight, and I was going to do so right now.

I opened the door slowly, and peeked my head around the door. Louis had been crying so hard, he didn't even notice me open the door. His head was in his hands as he was cuddled up in blankets on our bed. Jay was sitting beside him, comforting him. I cleared my throat obnoxiously to get their attention. Louis wiped under his eyes and looked up at me. As soon as our eyes met, my knees went weak. His face, which was already so delicate and light, was now spotted with redness and drenched with tears. His eyes were burning with pinkness to match mine, from all the crying. His pale body shook with sadness as my oversized t-shirt hung softly off of his tiny frame. A tear slid down my cheek and I ran to him. I tangled him with a hug and I held him. I held him so tight so that he knew I was never letting go. We cried into each other's shoulders and stayed there for a few minutes. When we pulled away he took his frail, cold hands and put them on my warm tear-stained cheeks.

"Promise me, you will love me until I am no longer. Promise me." His voice trembled with the last words. My lip quivered and I gave into the temptation to cry.

"I promise." I whispered back. In that moment, when I kissed him on the forehead as he sighed a breath of relief I knew what I had to do.

I had to make his last days worth living.