Giyuu x reader

The beginning

As I peep through the slightly ajar room I see a shadow in the corner. The room was chilly and the window was left open letting the moonlight shine in the room. The small lamp in the room flickered as a gust of freezing wind struck the room. He's been like this for a few days... I take a long deep breath before I knock on the door. "Giyuu..may come in?".There is no response until I hear a small mumble" Yeah..you may". I gently creak the door open and look at the man. He's completely changed..the man who used to smile so gently had a cold icy stare he barely smiled nowadays..I miss the old him... His eyes were puffy and red from crying. He swiftly tried to wipe his tears away but I had already noticed them. I crouched down next to him.

"Are you ok giyuu?"I asked him. He only slightly nodded at my question. As I looked at his eyes the eyes that once shone so brightly were dim..and almost lifeless looking... I said, "Giyuu... it's not your fault..please don't blame yourself".He looks up at me with eyes filled to the brim with tears." how can I not it's my fault I'm so weak I couldn't protect him! I was too weak. Why did he have to die?! Why couldn't it have been me!? I don't deserve to live after he died!" he starts to sob. I gently held him in my arms.

"Giyuu...no it's not your fault. No one would have guessed he would die that day. it was unpredictable and you know everyone tried to stop it from happening. You are not to blame!" Giyuu starts to tremble he's shaking like a leaf. "Giyuu please don't blame yourself over something you don't have control over.."I pat his back in an effort to stop his tears but he continues to sob even harder and louder. His entire body feels cold..how long has he been like this? how long will Sabito's death torment him? He starts to mumble, "I don't deserve to live... I should have been the one to die that day not him at least he wasn't as useless as me. I'm pathetic" Giyuu no please don't say that.. you're not useless you're the strongest person I know. " "You've met some really shitty people then if I'm the bravest you know"

My eyes widen at this statement "GIYUU YOU'RE NOT SHITTY YOUR THE MOST PERFECT HUMAN BEING. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT SABITO DIED. IF YOU KEEP BLAMING YOURSELF YOU'RE BEING UNGRATEFUL TO SABITO AND YOUR SISTER FOR SAVING YOU! DO YOU WANT THEIR SACRIFICE TO GO TO WASTE HUH!?" he looks up at me at my response. His eyes well up with tears once more."i-i..."He chokes on his words. He tries to speak but no words come out. He gives up and just starts to sob uncontrollably. He breaks down in tears unable to say anything. My shoulder is soaked because of his tears but I don't complain. I feel his breath on my neck slowing down and suddenly his body goes limp...

*Giyuus thoughts while alone in the room*"You deserve to die you are not worthy of living. You're the reason your sister and Sabito are dead. It's all your fault. you are to blame for everything. you only bring misfortune to the people around you. why didn't you die instead of your nee-san(giyuus sister) or Sabito. They protected a worthless piece of trash like me"