The Christmas Incident (BoyxBoy)

I was sure Atlas was not resisting that

Diego's POV

I was minding my own business, I came out for a run after my usual gym routine, it was a brand-new year and I needed to keep myself on track, I couldn't just mop around thinking about Atlas all day, when I could clearly be doing more productive stuff while still thinking about him all day. I couldn't help it. This was for sure a new feeling, I had an emotional attachment to Atlas. I was happy in a way, I was finally feeling those butterflies people talk about, and even when I wasn't sure about his feelings towards me, I was sure I felt in love with him.

I needed to be strong and hold back, I didn't want to overwhelm Atlas with my brand newfound love, I wanted to give him time and space, but I was also at my limit. He was unable to leave my mind. I would think about his eyes, his hair, his skin, and his smile all day. I would see couples at the gym, and I would think, this could be him and me; I would see couples on the TV, and I would say, we totally look better together than they do; I would go for a run in the park, see couples walking their dogs and I would think, would Atlas's cat like me? It was getting to a point of desperation.

I tried to convince myself that I was a mature young man, but deep down, I knew it was pointless. I wanted to rush towards Rao's home, take Atlas and keep him in my apartment, I wanted to pamper him, make sure he was okay, hold his hand and give him reassurance, kiss him tenderly and cater to all his needs. I wanted to be his rock, and I wanted him to rely on me; I was sure I could be what he needed and longed for. Hell, I was sure I could love him better than Logan ever did. But I needed to be patient, I wasn't looking to force my way in, I wanted Atlas to stand up for himself and choose me willingly. I was prepared to work hard and put in the effort, I wished to show everyone that my love, even if it was young, it was powerful, but once again, I couldn't invalidate Atlas feelings; It was mandatory to make sure that he also wanted me, and for that, I had to take a step back and wait. All these years of training and self-restraint were finally paying off, even when I was dying inside, I was holding it in and I kept quiet, I was just patiently waiting for Atlas to reach out first. I couldn't even play Juno anymore, I knew that if I were to go online, I was for sure going to send a very long profound love letter over the in-game chat; this letter would have also detailed all my sexual fantasies with him. 

I was desiring him so badly. My first time was nothing compared to the pleasure I felt when I almost did it with Atlas. I didn't even remember much about what happened that day with Lexi; thinking back on it, I wasn't sure anymore if I did it properly with her, maybe Dixon was right, I believed I was the best at everything I did, I had always made sure all the details were covered in every task, and losing my virginity was no exception; I had watched my fair amount of porn and I was sure about the basics, but after experiencing being with Atlas, I could confidently say that it was not the same at all. 

I didn't get to see Lexi with her clothes off - which is honestly a relief, the thought of it was making me cringe - and definitely it didn't get as hard as it did when I was with Atlas. I was a bit worried I must admit, it took me and Lexi a lot of tries to get my friend cooperating, plus it felt extremely uncomfortable, I thought it was because it was my first time, but I was wrong, being with Lexi felt so... transactional, and being with Atlas felt so exciting and amusing, I was glad I had a perfectly functional dick that was begging to be inside Atlas. 

I had touched myself while thinking about him. I felt like a pervert, I deserved to go to perverted jail, but I just couldn't help it, every time I would think about Atlas, I inadvertently would also remember his lewd pose inside the tent; his pale skin with red undertones, his closed eyes and his clenched lips, his wild hair mixed with the sweat of his nape; Atlas touching himself, showing me his hole, all naked and vulnerable; every detail of my night with him kept repeatedly playing for free inside my head, sometimes my imagination would even go further, I would order him to do even more embarrassing stuff and he would gladly obey, thinking about how he would do all those things because of me, it was a big turn on.