The Little Childhood Friend in a Female-Dominated World (ChatGPT Translated)

45. Have I died before?

(No additional lines provided)

"Brother-in-law, what do you think she's doing?" Lu Yu was happy to see her niece approaching and pointed to Xu Mu standing beside her, saying, "Sister is in Xu Mu's arms. If you want to hold her, you have to get his permission."

"Lu Feng," Xu Mu saw Lu Feng approaching and eagerly showed her the child in his arms, saying, "Isn't she beautiful?" He happily bounced his arms and playfully teased the child in his arms.

Originally, Lu Feng thought her sister looked pretty, but after Xu Mu praised her like that, Lu Feng suddenly didn't think she was that pretty anymore.

Xu Mu hadn't reacted yet, and the child in his arms had already been taken away. He immediately glared at Lu Feng and muttered, "There are so many people outside, I'm not going out."

Lu Feng quickly grabbed Xu Mu's finger, pretending not to see his displeased look, and turned to Ji Shi, saying, "Father, I'll take Mi Jian out to play for a while."

Even though the people in the inner hall were Lu Feng's close uncle, she couldn't stay inside for too long.

Xu Mu was pulled out by Lu Feng, looking reluctant, "You could have talked to Xu Yusun Yao outside by yourself. Why did you have to drag me out?"

Lu Feng thought to herself, what is there to talk about with them, and looked at Xu Mu's face, pouting and asking, "Why do you like children so much?"

After Li Shi became pregnant, Xu Mu often went to accompany her, as if a flower had bloomed on Li Shi's belly, and he could stare at it for a long time.

Coming out of the inner hall, Lu Feng held Xu Mu's hand and found an empty pavilion. She let go of his hand and sat down, somewhat resentfully asking him, "If we get married and have children in the future, will I become irrelevant? You're not even happy to hold my hand and go out with me."

Xu Mu blinked his eyes at her words, his mouth uncontrollably widening, and he sat next to her, his chin resting on her shoulder, saying, "My father might give me a little brother or sister in September. If you go to the border at that time, when you come back, I might not cling to you anymore."

He said this with a playful smile, but there was a deeper sense of probing. His eyes were fixed on Lu Feng's expression, and he noticed her slight frown after hearing his words. His heart sank, and he buried his face in her arms, loosening his grip on her clothes with a weak hand.

Regardless of past or present lives, Lu Feng hopes to defend Da Liang like her mother, Lu Rong, who galloped on the battlefield.

If he were an ordinary citizen or her friend, Xu Mu would admire her patriotic spirit and respect her choice. But as Lu Feng's husband, as someone who knew she died in battle, he couldn't convince himself to let her go to war.

Just the thought of Lu Feng going to the battlefield made Xu Mu's heart ache, and his hands trembled.

"Mi Jian," Lu Feng didn't know how to respond to Xu Mu's words. This kind of probing about her attitude towards going to war was not the first time this year.

Xu Mu pursed his lips, closed his eyes, and silently said, "I'm afraid you'll die in battle like in our past life. . ."

Resting his head on Lu Feng's arm, Xu Mu held her hand against his fast-beating chest and whispered, "I'm afraid that after you leave, I'll live in constant fear here."

With her back against his chest, her heart beating fast, Lu Feng was moved and tightly held Xu Mu's hand. For the first time, she broached this topic with him, saying, "My mother goes to war, and my father is also afraid. But if for this reason, no one in Da Liang is willing to be a soldier or defend against foreign enemies, then when the Dayu army invades, we won't have peaceful days."

Xu Mu's chest felt tight listening to her grand reasoning. He didn't want to hear Lu Feng talk about this. Even if she just comforted him, it would be better than her logically explaining things to him.

Seeing him silent, Lu Feng softened her voice and said, "You stay with father, wait for me and mother to come back. I haven't married you yet, how could I not return?"

"What if you really can't come back?" Xu Mu pushed away Lu Feng's hand, pushed her shoulder, and tearfully said, "Go to war then. If you die again in this life, I'll immediately pack up and remarry. I won't die with you again. . ."

"Why did I fall in love with a warrior like you? Why couldn't I have fallen for a literary person?" His crying voice was muffled, and Lu Feng listened in confusion, looking at him dazedly.

Seeing Xu Mu crying with tears streaming down his face and not allowing her to touch him, Lu Feng also felt uncomfortable. She tightly clenched her hand on her knee and earnestly said, "I will definitely come back. . . You're not allowed to remarry."

Xu Mu wanted to scold her in anger, saying that she made the same promise in their past life. But when he heard the second half of her sentence, the words got stuck in his throat, and he couldn't say them.

Lu Feng looked serious, her eyes fixed on him like an eagle locking onto its prey, and she said, "You're not allowed to remarry."

Lu Feng believed that she would definitely come back from the war. Even if she couldn't, she selfishly didn't want anyone else to touch her Mi Jian.

Seeing that Xu Mu took her angry words seriously, his heart ached and he wiped away his tears with his sleeve. With drooping eyelids, he muttered, "I haven't remarried, even if you die."

As he spoke, he couldn't help but cry again. He didn't hold back in his words, wanting to express his grievances and fears to her. "When you died, we didn't even have a child. I couldn't find any support, how could I go on living? Why would I think about remarrying?"

Note: The translation may not be literal in order to convey the meaning accurately.

"You said winter would come back, but it's only autumn and news of your death has arrived. You didn't fulfill your own words, how can I believe you for the rest of my life?" Xu Mu grabbed Lu Feng's sleeve, crying in a somewhat broken voice, "Lu Feng, I'm scared. I can't even wait for you at home now, afraid that you won't come back again."

Xu Mu's words were incoherent, but Lu Feng listened quietly. It seemed like she remembered the strange dream she had on the first night she met Xu Mu.

In the dream, the Lu Mansion was all white. Xu Mu, with disheveled hair and barefoot, ran out of the house and squatted in the yard, crying in despair. . . While she seemed to have died in battle.

Xu Mu's crying in her mind and the present moment suddenly merged. Lu Feng suddenly felt a bit confused, unsure if she was awake or still in the dream.

Her dreams were always fragmented, but if connected, it seemed to explain why Xu Mu knew her and why he persistently called her his wife.

Lu Feng's heart trembled, feeling incredulous. She reached out and held Xu Mu's hand, her voice hoarse as she asked, "Did I. . . die once? Did I die during the ambush by Da Yu?" Xu Mu's eyes widened at her words. He hadn't even mentioned that she died during the ambush by Da Yu.

Could it be. . .

Tears blurred Xu Mu's vision, but he tried hard to look at Lu Feng's face, chokingly asking her, "How do you know?"

Lu Feng lowered her gaze and smiled bitterly, "I dreamt it."

Note: The translation provided includes all the lines from the original text.

Note: Unrevised