Confinement Without Sin

Confinement

Nihilism. Some aren't aware of the idea but it is one that a being could consider as a form of self expression. If you're not aware, nihilism is the belief that nothing in this world is an entity and the Earth exists to faze the thoughts of a being. There is no purpose for you to know my name, nothing is real. When people follow on, it means they 'd like to know more which means you must want to get to know me; one chance. I don't live in the countryside nor an abandoned island; I quite naturally live in an apartment with no neighbours on my floor for six years. My home reflects myself. Dark black furniture and house ware along with figures of abstract art and a library room.
You must wonder about what I read? Psychology, global affairs and emotions. I was told that I was qualified for a doctoring role. I declined of course just simply because changing someone's life doesn't make them feel better about themselves, we eventually die and all that work doesn't apply anymore. More than anything in the world, I would ask for peace and for people to believe they have no purpose in trying so hard, why would you love to live? I'm delving further into my private life, aren't I? I'll start with parents; I have none. Whether they died or are still alive isn't my concern anymore, they would've called for me. Hence why I have no other names to claim as my own, I'd like to be included as myself and myself only.
So you'd like to know more? That's enough for one day, who knows if I might live the next. What of it? I've never set foot outside my house for 6 years. Anything I need would've been left at my door and when the moment is clear, I take it. The landlord couldn't care less whether I mess the place up, he's never bothered to visit me and I wish nothing more.
Wish. It isn't an emotion is it? You'll do your best and prevent me from straying into these situations and thoughts. I'm sure there were more things you were curious about when you had first noticed me? What were they? My appearance? No one knows how I look except for the people who have seen me. You haven't so don't claim it as you know me. Please.

I had always wondered what it would be like to be a normal person. Some consider people with diseases and disabilities "strange". Funnily enough, I'm not a normal person in their eyes. Grace is my name and I have Huntington's disease which stops parts of my brain processing for while. I consider myself a normal person, I just have a relative disparity towards everyone else. I believe that the world is a test and it makes people realise their potential in this world. Sometimes I wonder if there are people out there who have no love for the universe and wonder why they have that sort of emotion.Well, you know some things about me but there one thing I didn't mention. I play the piano and I've recently bought one; unfortunately, it can't fit into my house so I had to move. There are amazing reviews at this place but it's awfully quiet. I guess it's good for me so that the person next door could hear me play. I have a habit I do whenever I move houses, I give gifts to people as a way of saying hello and warm greetings.
I'm here at the place now, they have pass codes for the door. There's only two doors per floor with quite a long hallway and it seems quiet there; should I go in? I'll knock.

I take it you recall that no one has been my neighbour for six years, I've got one now knocking on my door. For curiosity's sake, I'll open it. As I did, a dainty, blonde haired girl stood in front of me with a small dog beside her.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you, I'm Grace!" 
I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't.. What else could she do? She stared at me with her huge green eyes and held up a box of flowers and other stuff I couldn't see. "Sorry, I'll get my dog inside as soon as possible." She curled her hair behind her ears. It was at that moment I thought I needed to get rid of myself and save my face from humiliation. I closed the door without retrieving the box and sat down on my chair. That's odd. He didn't reply to me. It's the first time I've seen such a man with beautiful eyes and long hair: shameful enough, longer than mine. Apart from that, he couldn't speak? I returned back to my door at the end of the hallway and entered a few numbers onto the screen. It refused each time. I hate to be a bother but I had to return back to the man to get more information. So I knocked again; he opened the door, this time, placing his hand on the door frame and leaning outwards towards me.