ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀꜱᴜɪᴛᴇ ♧ central cee

017.

♧

'i hate this feeling.' i sniffle as cruz holds me into his side. we're both sat on the floor of his empty room, his arm wrapped around my shoulders as i've been crying for the past hour.

'what does it feel like?' he asks softly and i can feel him drawing circles on my arm.

'emptiness.' i answer simply.

'do you think that you love him?' he asks me and i stay quiet thinking of a response.

'fuck, i think so.' i mumble as he shakes his head.

'it's okay. it's normal after what you two have been through.' he speaks and i let out a shaky breath.

'but i can't love him, no matter how bad i want to.'

'you can't control who you love, nady.'

'well, i should've because now i'm a fucking mess on your floor thinking about how he'll never love me back.'

'you don't know that.'

'i do, he said it to me himself.' i shrug, wiping my eyes.

'you could change him.' he shrugs as i look up at him.

'ew, no.' i say as he lets out a breathless chuckle.

'i'm trying to help you, nady.'

'you are, i promise. i'm sorry.'

'nah, don't apologise now. if anything, i should be apologising.'

'for what?'

'for not punching him in the face right now.'

'well, i'd rather have you in school than out.' i shrug as he nods a little.

'yeah but—' he begins, before he's interrupted by the door unlocking and as if the moment couldn't get any worse, he walks in.

'shit, my bad—' oakley speaks as he sees me and i immediately look anywhere but him.

'it's all good, i should probably go to ani anyway, we have a shoot later today.' i speak, getting up as cruz looks at me with concern. 

'call me later, yeah?' he speaks and i nod, heading for the door.

'nadya.' oakley speaks, gently grabbing my wrist. 'i want to talk.' he speaks and i look between him and cruz who mainly looks like he's about to stab oakley but other than that, he also nods his head at me. i sigh before letting him take my hand as we both walk out of the dorm and through the corridor. 'i didn't want to hurt you—'

'you didn't, trust me, i don't care.' i shrug, wiping my eyes as he gives me a small smile.

'baby, your face is all red.' he chuckles, moving my hands away from my face as he wipes one if my tears away.

'it's your fault.' i shrug.

'i'm sorry, i really am.' he speaks genuinely and i look down at our interlocked hands, his thumb gently moving across my knuckles.