IEGO: CS || Wavering Hearts

『 CHAPTER 21 』

Gamma recounted the number of heads, and faces, of the members of Raimon Eleven who had tagged along on the traversal to Medieval France. Then, Gamma sighed with a tilt of his head.

While Gamma can easily wave away the disappointment of not meeting Alpha again; he can always pose a dramatic entrance towards the emotionless individual any day, any time; Gamma can't easily wave away the disappointment of not meeting you. He has been waiting for so long to meet you, just as he had been waiting for so long for you to meet (and be marveled) by him.

Much to his woes ⸺ oh! The traversty! ⸺ you did not join the group that time traveled to Medieval France, and it was not like Gamma could walk up to the group and ask where were you. Well, obviously, he could, but that did not mean he will get an answer. Furthermore, Gamma could not willy-nilly head to your timeline to peek on what you were doing, because that was [a]: creepy, and [b]: Gamma will suffer the same fate as Beta.

At the thought of her, Gamma admitted that he shedded a drop of concern for Beta. Ever since she returned, she had not once paid any mind to his taunts. Sure, she spared him a look, but it was no glare nor was it a side-glance filled with annoyance. Rather, her glance was one filled with exhaustion.

Gamma, out of the kindness of his heart, asked her at that time whether there was something wrong, but she did not bother to reply. Not even a hiss of "don't bother me" in his way.

Oh, well. Gamma sighed to himself. She'll be back to her old self soon enough.

♡ --- ♡ --- ♡

MUGEN Prison was anything but a place of paradise.

MUGEN Prison was anything but a place Beta would call a shelter. It was a place that would have her undergo taxing regimen, involving strict physical training of daily soccer practice to the point her shoulders, back, and legs ached. A place that would give her the bare minimum of survival; that of which included tasteless porridge filled with all the necessary nutrients and a cup of water for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner; and a hard bed inside a room that had air ventilation and dim lights was provided for her. However, to have such provisions was to agree to lock herself up behind the electric prison bars.

Before meeting you, Beta hated this place.

After meeting you, Beta still hated this place, but she believed this place was also a befitting place for someone like her.

It was a befitting place, she reflected, to lock her away and to pay for all the crimes she admitted: hurting your friends, imprisoning Endou Mamoru in that dimensional void, and most of all, for causing your death.

Your rolling head. Your headless body. The blood that appeared and disappeared and appeared as it dripped from the edge of neck.

Her nights were filled of such nightmarish imagery ⸺ imagery that Beta wanted them to all go away. Beta wanted, as well, for the blood on her hands to go away. However, she figured that that would be impossible.

After all, even if your friends, Fei, and Alpha can bring you back; it would not be the original you they'd bring back. Who they would bring back would be a different you; a you that Beta did not meet; a you that Beta did not kick the head off until it rolled across the ground.

A you that was and will always be alive.

As Beta sat in the corner of her cell with her head buried in her knees, she wondered how was Alpha doing. She always wondered what he was doing becase by the end of the day, even when they were rivals, Alpha was still her subordinate. However, today would be the first time Beta wondered whether Alpha hated her for what she did. Today would be the first day Beta would not blame Alpha's ex-teammate for not liking her as their leader. Today would be the first day Beta wished to be free of her duty as an administrator. Today would be the first day Beta wished to be a child again.