"Let's exchange socials. I think we're friends now since I got you some food?"
Benjamin placed a plate in front of me. We were sitting at a table with just the two of us. While he was getting our food, nilayo ko 'yung upuan niya para di kami magkatabi. Mas ayos na 'yung magkatapat, kesa naman magkatabi kami, 'no!
"Gutom ako, wag mong pairalin ang kalandian mo." I rolled my eyes at him. I looked down at my plate. Some of the food he put on it ay ayaw ko. I looked back at him. "Give me your plate."
"Huh? Why?"
Sabi ko plato lang, pero pati siya lumapit sa 'kin. Nakaka-irita talaga. Inilayo ko na nga ang upuan niya, eh! Inilipat ko 'yung isang dish sa plate niya na may red sauce. I didn't know what it was called, but it looked spicy. I'm not fond of spicy foods. I left the dish that looked like it had pesto sauce since it seemed okay, at least.
"Sorry, I didn't know you didn't like spicy food," he said immediately after I handed his plate back. "I just assumed you'd like it because it matches your personality."
"You know what? Ang assumera mo kahit kailan," I said as I started eating.
"Well, I have to assume things because... I don't even know you," he mimicked what I had said earlier. "Who knows, we might have a date after this. By then, I'll know you... So, don't you want to introduce yourself? Ako lang 'to."
I stared at him for a moment.
Hmm... Wala namang mawawala sa 'kin. Sige na nga.
"Maicah Crisandy Rivas," I told him. "That's my name. Graduating. Grade 12. STEM. Will take architecture in college... Ano, okay na ba?"
"I'm assuming you're 18?" he asked. "Don't get me wrong... I'm sorry if I'm flirting with you without knowing your age. If you're a minor, you can slap me whenever you want."
"Hindi ka lang assuming, OA ka rin."
I couldn't help but hide a smile. What a jerk... No, he's not really a jerk after all. I guess he's at least a gentleman. He knows the age limits for flirting, and I'm glad he's aware of these things.
"So... ano nga? God, I couldn't forgive myself if you were a minor. Damn, that's disgusting."
"Hmm... Are you disgusted with me now?" tanong ko sa kaniya, nang-aasar. "You said if I were a minor, I could slap you. Can I slap you now?"
His jaw dropped.
Naniwala talaga siyang minor ako! Binalak ko pa siyang asarin, pero nang mapatayo siya ay doon ako natawa nang malakas. Ang gagong 'to, nagagago rin naman kahit papaano! I held my stomach from laughing so hard.
"I'm already nineteen, Benjamin, if that clears your mind."
Napainom naman siya ng tubig dahil doon. Sumama pa ang loob niya sa 'kin dahil sa biro kong 'yon. And to make up, he insisted we exchange social media accounts. Nauto niya naman ako.
"Wait, you're nineteen?" tanong niya matapos niya akong i-follow sa IG. Ang tingin niya ay nasa phone niya, nag-i-scroll pa rin sa feed ko. "Don't get me wrong for asking... I'm just curious."
I hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to answer his question. If I did, he would learn a lot about my life. Although sharing a part of myself wouldn't be a huge deal, I felt a deep, almost paralyzing fear of showing my true self. This phase of life often feels like a repeating cycle.
Every time I open up, people often drift away. There's a vulnerable feeling when you share yourself, only to wonder if anyone will truly stick around.
The fear of rejection makes every act of openness feel risky.
Pero gaya ng lagi kong sinasabi, wala namang mawawala sa 'kin kung gagawin ko ang isang bagay, kaya sinimulan kong magkwento sa kaniya. Sinabi ko sa kanya ang ilang bagay kahit hindi ko sigurado kung kailangan niyang malaman 'yon. Mula sa pag-iwan sa 'kin ng nanay ko hanggang sa ampunin ako ni Tito Paulo.
Ilang oras na ang nakalipas at tapos na rin ang party, kaya nagpaalam na ako kay Benjamin. I headed to a room where Phoebe was since my things were there. I needed to change into something comfortable since naka-dress pa ako. Phoebe already changed her clothes.
"I already texted Chad na hindi ka uuwi," Phoebe said as I came out of the bathroom after changing. "Sabi niya ay you can drink, but I should count your drinks. Bawal ka raw lumampas sa limang shots because that's your limit. He sounded so much like a big brother when I talked to him."
I was taken aback. "Pumayag si Chad?"
"Yeah... Just don't do anything stupid later, Emcy. I won't count your drinks!"
Napairap naman ako. Sa kaniya pa talaga 'yon nanggaling. And duh, as if umiinom ako!
Himala ata at pumayag ang kumag na 'yon. Hindi naman ako umiinom, pero mas okay kasing uminom kapag pinayagan ka. I've never drunk without Chad knowing. I really see him as a big brother, even though hindi kami related by blood.
Sa pool area kami dumeretso after. Nandoon na ang ilan naming kaklase, umiinom na. Napangiwi ako nang makakita ng black at red label sa lamesa. Gosh, ang pinaka-ayaw ko! Buti na lang at may cocktail. What a lifesaver.
"Welcome shot! Welcome shot!" they chanted in unison.
Okay, you can do this, Emcy. This will be your first and last shot. I took the shot glass and a glass of soft drink. But since I didn't want to smell the alcohol, I put the soft drink down. I used my left hand para takpan ang ilong ko. After taking the shot, I quickly grabbed the soft drink. I felt like I was going to vomit.
"So you do drink." I heard a familiar voice from behind.
Nangunot ang noo ko nang dumating si Benjamin at naupo sa tabi ko. Before sitting, he fist-bumped some of the people there. He had two guys with him who sat on the other side.
He had already changed his clothes. He was wearing a gray top and had a hoodie on his lap. Because of what he was wearing, I noticed his biceps. He probably hangs out at the gym a lot. Aside from his build, I could smell his perfume. It was strong but not overpowering.
"You're so quiet," bulong niya sa 'kin bago siya uminom. He also took the welcome shot. Nang matapos siyang uminom ay tinawag niya ang birthday girl na si Phoebe.
"Bakit?" sagot ng babae.
"Ireto mo naman ako dito sa kaibigan mo," sabi niya at tinuro ako.
That made my classmates cheer. Pati 'yung mga kasamahan niyang lalaki, inasar kami!
"I knew it! Kaya pala something was going on kanina sa 18 shots because you like my friend, ha!" Tumawa si Phoebe. "Emcy is single! Ready na for mature roles!"
Pabiro kong hinila ang buhok niya. "Tarantado ka ba?"
"Benj, she's asking if okay lang daw na lumayo kayo? She's not much of a drinker."
Gosh, sinungaling!
But before I could react, Benjamin pulled me by the wrist. And there my classmates went with their teasing again! Gosh, so annoying! Benjamin held a red cup in his other hand. It was probably alcohol.
We went to the place we were earlier. It was close to midnight, so it was really cold. I sat on one of the swings and hugged myself. Benjamin noticed, so he immediately gave me his hoodie. Rather than freeze, I accepted it and put it on.
"Kanina... Why are you forcing yourself to drink? It's obvious na ayaw mo, bakit tinuloy mo pa rin?" he started.
"I just don't want to be called a KJ?" I shrugged. "But Phoebe knows I don't drink. Birthday niya lang kaya pinagbigyan ko," I answered.
"Learn to say no," he said. "There's nothing wrong with refusing."
I don't know if it was because of the time or if the atmosphere had really changed. At some point, what he was saying made sense. It wasn't annoying. It wasn't irritating.
It feels true... and good.
