Her name is pronunced (Ah-siri-ah).
He wasn't going to say anything so neither was I. I had looked back at him one more time, before I crawled my way to the bathroom for a well needed shower. I did a scrub down before I sat with bubbles to think in the tub. My 30 minute shower turned into a 4 hour thinking session. When I opened the door James was on the bed looking at his phone. He looked at me once before walking into the bathroom.
I walked to the closet to pick out a white tank top, black leggings, and I put on my cocaine (white) air force 1's. After I put on some lotion, James came out the bathroom. He had on a white beater and basketball shorts. We were on our way to see my mom. He would let me see her once every two weeks just so she can know that I am okay. Well physically. Mentally and emotionally is a whole different story. James is the type of person to abuse me worse in verbal than physical. His exact words were 'bruises can heal, but the thoughts can eat you alive.' It did. Everything he says gets to me and he knows that.
He walked out the door and got in the driver side. I grabbed my purse and got in on the passenger side. He backed out, so I started talking. James was never the quiet type, so this was not normal.
"What's wrong?" I had tried to make eye contact, but he refused. He looked everywhere except at me. I touched his arm this time. "James, baby, are you okay?" He yanked his arm away and back hand me. "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!! STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU WANT TO HELP!!" He looked at me this time. He had the same dark and mysterious look in his eye. He had that look the same night, we met. I could feel my cheek swelling while thinking about it.
James had told his parents that I was the one that did it. They didn't send me to jail, but for the consequences, I had to help him get better. Like give him his meds, food, take him to wherever he wanted to go. I was like his own personal nanny. He would call me for any and everything. "Assyriah. Assyriah!!" That is all i ever freaking heard all day long.
Soon, that nanny-ship turned into a friendship.He was no where near how he was now. He wasn't even like how he was before. It seems like there has to be something that triggers this side of him. We used to laugh, crack jokes, everything was fine. We would have movie nights or cuddle. Anything I wanted, he would give it. I don't know how it has gotten to the point that it is at now.. Until 2012, it was a few days before Valentine's Day. He had asked me to be his girlfriend. Silly me, thinking that the situation would never reoccur. I mean, stupid Assyriah for trying to be a good person. I only did it because he was kind and needed someone. I, honestly, felt guilty. But now, fuck his feelings. He don't care about mine.
I realized that we have been looking at this same car in front of us for over 10 minutes now. I looked around and we were in front of my mom's apartment. Today I plan to spill my guts and trust my advantages. I am going to tell my mom everything that has been happening before I go.
