I don't always like to tell people what I feel. I choose to deny that someone will actually understand me. I just know that no one will, I tried all the people I thought could but they failed.
I just keep on going without telling a soul what I really perceive about life cause they often think I am crazy. I know I'm not. I know I am pretty much in the average status area just my thoughts deviating away from being average.
This part of me not being able to tell someone how I feel is pretty hateful. I always would envy people having someone like me who actually listens and understands. I always envy people having me as a part of their life. I want a me version too. I want someone who listens and understands too. Not some people who says 'thats so sad' 'don't overthink it' 'its in the past okay?'
I want a me in my life, who just listens smiles and ask questions like they really give a damn, even just faking interest is enough. I do, I have it, cause it's me, but, ugh, forget it, I doubt someone would actually understand.
