the light may take time ,but it always comes .

your loosing me

just want to clarify i  have absolutely no idea if any of this is factual and i'm just basing it off my own ideas !!

it felt like walking on tightrope .like you was uncontrollably falling with no parachute.drowning in your own tears .the love came and disappeared in an instant -then made another appearance unexpectedly.

a whirlwind of emotions drifted in and out of taylor .she sat blatantly staring at the scorching ,roaring fireplace .her freshly polished feet under her bum ,her slightly pink lip help captive within her white teeth .

she jumped slightly and quickly wiped the stray tears gently cascading down her pale face as her boyfriend of 6 years entered her apartment .

"how was work ?"she sniffled and a fake smile washed
over her face .

"the usual "joe murmured uninterested .

she nodded as the floor suddenly became more interesting to her than this painful small talk .

"i'm getting shower "joe groaned whilst taking off his tie .

"okay honey "taylor sighed and watched him walked up the stairs slowly .

and she just continued to stare where he has just lazily stumbled up the staircase .

he used to be able to read my mind .ran through the blondes head  .now he can't even tell when i'm upset .or he can and doesn't care .

she ran her long fingers through her silky hair and groaned in pain and frustration .

she loves him .she really does .more than anyone .which is why it's so fucking difficult to admit that the same thing she loves is killing her .

she continues to cry silently until until she hears the water turn off and she attempts to pull herself together .

once upstairs ,she glances in joes direction as he's reading a book in their bed and continues to walk with her head hanging low into the bathroom .she glares at her own reflection in the mirror .not recognising herself .this wasn't the little girl her parents know .this isn't the joyful funny woman her friends know .this isn't the taylor she knows herself .

icy water washes down her face ,dripping off her chin .she splits out the peppery toothpaste into the sink and runs the tap for a few seconds before filling her lungs full of air and going back into their bedroom .

joe glances from his book when she grabs the end of her knitted jumper and pulls it over her head and slips off the leggings she was wearing .she turned to the full body mirror in her underwear and let her hair free from the tight restraint it's in .

"taylor "she hears joe speak in a hushed tone .running her hand through the ends of her hair, she turned around and nodded .

"can we have sex?"he asked carefully .

suddenly her once dead heart started beating -very slowly .but it was still beating .they hadn't had sex in 6 months .maybe this is what the relationship needs to start up again .maybe joe hasent lost interest in her .

"yes "she breathed .

joe put his book on the nightstand and taylor stumbled slowly across the room to the bed and crawled across to
joe ,sitting in his lap .he grabbed the back of her head with force and joined their lips ,kissing her roughly .she gently kissed back .

you would think after not touching me for nearly half a year he would be more gentle .she scoffed in her own head .

without warning ,she was flipped onto her back with joe hovering above her and suddenly ,her panties were pulled to the side and his full length was all in at once .she cried out in pain ,her neck coming forwards and fists gripping the sheets in pain .he moved in and out of her with no breaks ,fast and hard .it kind of hurt .shes not had sex in so long and now she's getting pounded .she turned her head to the side so he couldn't see her face as a few tears fell on the pillow that her blonde hair was sprawled across .she could of objected .said if hurt .but didn't ,she bit her lip and kept her pretty mouth shut .

he needs this .he needs this .she repeatedly spoke to herself .

there was no was she was going to get an orgasm out of this -so she faked it .soon after she felt joe spill inside of her and she held back her sobs as he kissed her shoulder mumbling 'thanks 'and rolled off to his side .

she immediately turned facing away from him as there was a click for the room flooded with darkness .
still ,cold ,confused .

she lay .not daring to move of make a sound .her sobs were trying to escape her throat but she swallowed them down and shut her wet eyelashes tightly .

he's loosing me .
——————————————————————————-

i'm sorry i keep starting new books and never finishing ongoing ones i just loose interest so tell me if you'd rather me continue this or another book.