Deceit || Kang Taehyun [ON HOLD]

12 ➟ Discomfort

"Hey, mom."

"Hello, Jieun."

Through the silence following their greetings, Jieun felt the growing urge to tell her mother about the whole mission, motivated by the possibility that she'd give her some sort of validation from it.

However, such a revelation was bound both by the fear of disappointment and the perfectionistic need to get it over with before she showed it off.

Holding her phone against her ear with one hand, the other fiddled mindlessly with the hem of her hoodie, while her eyes couldn't seem to find anything more interesting. She never felt as nervous as she did when speaking with her parents, constantly accompanied by the anxiety of possibly doing something to bring their expectations even lower than they already stayed.

"How are you and dad?"

Linking the dialogue was a contempt sigh from her mother's side, which seemed to be some sort of talking habit she had acquired at some point in her life.

"The usual."

"Is.. dad able to talk?"

"Busy."

"How's work going, mom?"

"Jiji, we're pretty busy right now. We're trying to find Jaeyun. We could use your help here at home."

Jieun smiled a little to herself, interpreting her mother's words as a way of her saying she missed her. She knew her parents were a little rough on the edges, but that they really cared about her on the inside.

"I miss you guys..."

A notable pause.

"Bye."

And a quiet high-pitched noise strung out of the speaker.

Jieun pulled the phone away from her ear with a somber release of breath, assuming she had just been called for some sort of emergency.

It wasn't the first time her mother had had to hang up on her, so she wasn't startled by this occurrence. However, lack of startle was never enough to cancel out the sinking feeling of embarrassment and a yearning for attention.

"Was that your mom?"

And the startle returned, in the form of a quiet voice calling out from Jieun's door. She flicked her head around to see Yerin's timid form standing in the middle of the room.

I was so close to letting everything slip just there...

Jieun turned her body around, her legs folding against the duvet she sat upon. Yerin's expression had a slight tint of guilt upon noticing how surprised Jieun was at her presence.

"Yeah. How long were you standing there?"

Yerin smiled a little, masking the self-placed blame for her own discomfort.

"A while..."

She bit her inner lip slightly.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

Jieun shook her head, mostly glad that she hadn't actually told her mother about her mission. She pulled her lips into a tight smile, easily noticing how apologetic Yerin seemed.

"We didn't say anything personal, anyway."

A bitter chuckle slipped through her lips, and she suddenly felt the extreme need to be alone.

Yerin's already soft gaze gentled, and she slowly approached Jieun, whose stare was now fixated somewhere uncertain. After a moment's hesitation, she sat down on her bed, a few inches away from the centered position Jieun sat in.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jieun threw a quick glance in Yerin's direction, almost immediately moving her stare down to her lap.

There was a settling feeling of discomfort lodged somewhere in Jieun's stomach, not particularly because of Yerin herself - she seemed nice enough - but because of how Jieun felt at that moment.

She preferred to be at an emotional equilibrium when speaking with people, but Jieun was feeling far too vulnerable to be in any presence other than her own. It was confusing, especially since she hadn't felt such a way in so long; Yerin's empathetic character probably being a contributing factor.

Jieun's stare flickered up towards the fish tank not far from her, catching a glimpse of the aquatic flame, which seemed to be staring right into Jieun's very being.

"Nothing happened."

She wasn't lying. She was getting sensitive over nothing.

Although Jieun didn't catch notice, Yerin gave her an unconvinced stare, soon looking away herself to try and subside her own nervousness.

She felt a little awkward comforting people, especially ones that seemed as introverted as Jieun. She felt hesitant to push her more, afraid of an outburst of some sort that would put her off wanting to console people ever again.

Plus, she didn't seem particularly ecstatic about telling her all about her personal matters.

Soon, Yerin pushed herself off the bed, treading towards the door with an intentional sort of pace in her steps.

"I'll be back soon..."

Jieun watched her leave with a newfound sense of curiosity, her chest strangely lightened from the exchange, having feared that she would push her to the point of vulnerability she hugely feared showing to others.

She released a deep breath, reaching one hand up to soberly rub against her eyelids.

While one part of her mind was trying to guess what Yerin was doing, the majority of her conscience was reminding her of why she was actually there.

Regardless, Jieun found herself watching her door patiently, her fingers laced relaxedly in her lap.

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