Why Didn't I See The Signs

Chapter 2

The next day came as it always did. 

Waking up with my mother's arms wrapped around my waist with her gentle snoring in my neck, still feeling eerie sadness that never leaves.

It wasn't uncommon for me to wake up early after crying so hard the previous night, and so I stared at the wall. After staring at the wall, I shifted on the couch to get into a better position without waking my mom up and then the thought of you appeared.

I rose quietly and decided that I no longer wanted to lay down anymore, and so I checked the time and saw it was 7:27. 

Cmon Vi. Let's get dressed and go to a cafe to get some coffee and read to clear my mind. The ride there was hard. I wish it wasn't so hard to get ready and do something so simple as getting into my car.

It's fine. I reminded myself as my breath started to shake and warmth spread up my arms. You're fine, everything is okay, I had to remind myself before I went into the cafe.

"Hello, what would you like," the barista asked with a soft smile, and once again I saw you.

I saw you so often in others' features, and it took everything in me not to cry, not to allow my face to turn red.

"An iced mocha, please" and there it was, as this barista was ringing up my order I saw it in her hazel eyes, in the way her eyebrows lowered and burrowed together, that she pitied me.

She must have seen the sadness across my face, seen it in my voice, seen it in how I carry myself. She and anyone in this cafe could most likely see it "thank you," I said quietly avoiding eye contact.

In that instence, as I got my receipt I debated leaving. 

But, then I thought of Rowen, and knew he would want me to sit and read. 

 I then thought of a random memory that I loved. 

One where he would have joined me and sat across from me reading his own book shortly and then most likely loosing train of thought as he went from staring at me to looking at his book, and then I would randomly kiss his check in which he would gasp quietly and smile mischievously at me.

Hours would go by as I read and studied for whatever exam was coming up. And, once I was too exhausted I would look up to see Rowen staring intently at me "What? Do I look bad, do I look tired?" I said.

"No. I'm just simply admiring you" he said leaning his back in his chair. Letting the natural light through the windows beam on his beautiful features.

"You look so beautiful right now, even with how tired I know you are" Rowen said with a small smirk.

I simply ignored his comment shaking my head with a smile telling him we should go already, but as we left that evening, and as he opened the door for me and buckled me into my seat, taking me home and kissing me on my cheek, then my nose, and to finally my lips.

I always remembered that day.

I remembered it for its simplicity, in how much he showed that he loved and adored me. From the way his hand perfectly molded mine, to the way he would gently kiss my cheek. It was the way he saw me so beautifully when I was utterly exhausted or full of sadness. He never saw my flaws. 

He only simply saw me.

"Ma'am.. are you okay," a brunette -headed barista asked, as I felt her gentle taps on my shoulder, feeling her bracelet shake as it had woken me up. 

"I'm sorry, we're past closing, and you fell asleep and started shaking in your sleep, so I just wanted to make sure you're okay".

"I'm fine. Sorry for worrying you," I said as I gave a gentle wry smile that must have told her more than I thought, but my mind was barely here in this moment as I was trying to remember my dream.