Note: English is not my first language so please bare with me and my poor grammar. This story is not meant to promote self - harm but rather help people how to love their selves and understand the purpose of their lives.
Empty.
She was experiencing the same feeling as always at that moment. It always made her wonder whether there was something wrong with her and why she felt this way all the time. Surely there's nothing wrong with her , right?
Oh.
She can now recall why she was feeling this way.
Mira and her mother got into a heated argument tonight for unknown reasons. She couldn't even recall how they got into it in the first place; all she could recall was that her mother was questioning her about something when it suddenly turned into a screaming match.
"Do mothers usually argue with their daughters?"
Every time she and her mother had an argument, Mira would repeatedly ask herself this question.
Whether it concerns minor or major issues. She was unable to recall a moment when she and her mother weren't at odds with one another.
Her mother might be her fiercest opponent at times as well as her greatest friend in certain situations. She'll get kind and loving treatment from her mother. But she might be the most poisonous person you've ever encountered.
Mira — desperately wanted to despise her mother, but she couldn't because her mother could be nice sometimes and would support her whenever her aunt berate her, but her mother appears to prefer the harsh and destructive method of raising a child. Mira no longer knows how to feel for her mother because she has grown exhausted of dealing with her mood swings.
"It's always been this way: mom is the one I can always count on, but the next minute I realize it, I don't want to be near her. Rather than behaving like a loving mother and then turning into a toxic and controlling mother, it would have been better if she had just hated me instead, so I don't have to feel guilty hating her"
[ FIRST PERSON P.O.V]
"I hate her", —thought Mira, —
"I hate her for the way she would be angry at us then guilt tripping us by saying that we're making her seemed like a bad mother for the way we act and talk back to her. She would always act like she's the victim when clearly it's us because we're stuck with a hypocrite mother like you. Whenever she would get mad at our father , she would take it out on us. I always wondered on how she could shatter my heart just like that and act like nothing happened , it might not look like it but the wounds left on my heart is still fresh , you know? And I hate it because no matter how harsh she can be to me , by the end of the day I knew I would still love her even if it's only a little amount , after all the longing of my younger self for her mother is still there."
[to be continued]
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Poor little girl. You are not what was desired but you are no less dear to me. A boy would be the Son of France but you Marie - Thérèse shall be mine"
YOU ARE READING
Pathways: A Journey Through Life
Non-FictionShe felt a silent, unceasing ache inside; it was like an empty place where emotions used to grow but were now lifeless and barren. It was a deep emptiness, an absence that tore at her soul, not just melancholy or loneliness. Every morning when she w...
