The Missing Piece

Echoes of a Distant Father

Whenever the man I looked up to stepped out the door, I felt like I was doing everything wrong. So, I studied more. I needed to be better. Endless nights at my desk, Dark eye bags like storms, my body sore, Fingers numb from writing and typing, Caught in an endless loop.

I've never felt complete, Always missing a piece of the puzzle. Where is it? Kids at my school have both pieces. Why can't I be as happy as those other puzzles? Despite my efforts, I've never felt good about my work, Craving only one man's approval. It's like running up a hill but always falling. If I can't get his approval, is life worth living?

The weight of his disappointment was like carrying an elephant, Dragging me down no matter what I did. I could save the world and never feel good, Trying over and over again. Will I ever get his approval, Or will disappointment follow me like a lost puppy?

As the man of the house left, I knew I had to be stronger, Helping the woman who gave me life from sinking into depression. I felt like a ghost, doing everything to change: Gaining, losing, dyeing, bleaching, Changing over and over, still feeling like sand in the wind.

When he left, my anger built like a raging bull, And he was my red flag. Once my "first love" left my life, I clung to others, fearing I wasn't good enough, Worried they'd leave me too.

Growing up without a man to look up to left a void in my life. In my search for love and care, I often sought older partners, Trying to fill the emptiness left by his absence, Hoping to find the affection and guidance I missed.

When the man vanished, my other creator blamed me. I lay in bed at night, sobbing, Wondering if I was really that annoying or ugly. As I grew older, I made a firm decision: I would never be like my father. I would never abandon my child, Leaving them with a void in their heart, Desperately seeking an idol in a man.

In the shadows where you once stood tall, Echoes of your voice in these empty halls, A presence felt in every silent call, Yet never there to catch me when I fall. You were a phantom, a whisper, a name, A ghostly figure in a picture frame. I chased your shadow in a losing game, Seeking warmth in a fatherly flame.

But where were you when the nights were cold? When stories of heroes were left untold? The words you never said, the love you never showed, Left gaps in my heart where a father's care should flow. I yearned for your approval, your praise untold, In a world where your silence made me feel alone.

I built my strength on the foundations of your neglect, Learning to stand tall when your presence lacked respect, Forging my own path, though with heavy regret, For the father-daughter bond we never could perfect. Your absence was a wound that never healed, A silent pain I've always concealed.

In the mirror, your face is revealed, A haunting presence, a scar unsealed. You taught me strength in your own cruel way, Through every harsh word and game you'd play. I learned to stand firm, come what may, But inside, the child's heart began to fray.

I searched for you in the eyes of men, In every lover, a father's love to mend, But each embrace led to sorrow again, A cycle of heartache without end. I placed you on a pedestal so high, A hero in my young, adoring eye, But the cracks in your armor, I couldn't deny, Revealed the truth beneath the lie.

You were supposed to be my guiding light, A beacon in the darkest night, But your love was fleeting, out of sight, Leaving me to navigate my own plight. I've learned to let go of the dreams of you, To find my strength in what is true, Building a life from a different view, Where self-love and healing grew.

Looking at the stars in the black ink, With the mystery man. Mystery man and mother Always fought with each other. One black starry night, Mystery man left, Leaving mother to cry. If he were a star, I'd want him to explode.

But now, I find my solace in the night sky, No longer needing answers to why. I've stitched the wounds and learned to fly, Embracing the future with a hopeful sigh.

Through pain, I've found my inner peace, A heart rebuilt, the hurt released. In self-love and healing, I find my crease, A path of light where shadows cease.

For I am more than what he left behind, A resilient heart, a sharpened mind. In every challenge, strength I find, A future bright, a soul refined.