Short Stories for Larry Bot

Broken Promise

 Trigger warnings: Self-harm

"Promise you won't date and that you'll focus on yourself?" asked MrFace.
"I.. I promise." I said.

For the next 2 weeks, they had to talk to me about focusing on myself, and not dating until I was mature enough. On one occasion, I called my ex hot, because he had dyed his hair. They came after me for that.
And then, I said that I was addicted to romance, so they called my evil twin, Bico. After Bico admitted to also being addicted to romance, they called Cico, who slapped himself, Bico, and I.
"Why did you slap yourself?" MrFace asked.
"Because I am also addicted to romance." Cico replied.
And then, another time, I broke another promise.. by hurting myself. I felt so bad after that.

The day started as usual, I woke up, then cried because I had no more Honey Buns to eat. I found another person named Nico. I had found my Nico di Angelo, so I quickly changed my name to Will Solace. I am elated.
I told my friends, and they got mad at me.
"It's just platonic." I told them.
  "No, it's not." Athena said.
She sent a screenshot that I had sent where Nico and I were telling each other we loved the other.
"How is that platonic?" She asked.
  "DON'T YOU EVER CALL YOUR HOMIES PET NAMES OR SAY YOU LOVE THEM?!" I shouted in anger. I was getting sick of this. They couldn't control who I was friends with.
"NAH, NOT THE HOMIES." MrFace screamed back.
  "You're gay." GamaR stated.
"No! I'm straight!" I cried.
  "No, you are not." They all said in unison.
Athena, with her wise ass of course had to send screenshots of me saying I was bisexual. GamaR also replied to one of my messages where I said that I loved men. Athena saw that, and also screenshoted it.
"Fine, y'all win this time." I told them glumly.

I talked to my Neeks for a while. I love him so much.
I went to my simp corner and sent screenshots of me and my Neeks saying totally platonic things to each other.
Athena saw it again, and sent it to the chat.
I told the chat "2 weeks and 2 days. I'm going strong." about the promise I made to them about not dating.
"Nah, you at 15 minutes." MrFace told me, "We've given you more chances than Verzy."
  "STOP, NO, 2 WEEKS 2 DAYS." I cried, "I'M ON MY 2 WEEKS AND 2 DAYS!!!"
"YOU LOST YOUR STREAK 16 TIMES." He replied.
  "Yes. True." Athena agreed with him.
"WE'RE PLATONIC, I SWEAR." I screamed at the top of my lungs.
  "Nico, we've had this chat before, but as a reminder: please don't date until you have worked on yourself." Athena told me.

———

A week later, my Neeks and I started dating. It was the happiest time of my life when he confessed. He is the love of my life. I love him so much.
He makes me laugh, and smile, and blush. He brings the best out of me.

AHAHSDLKFJSIEROFIS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, MY NEEKS JUST PROPOSED TO ME!!!! AKJLSHLJFSD— I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE WEDDING!!

WE'RE OFFICIALLY MARRIED!! THIS IS A DREAM, IT'S GOTTA BE. SOMEONE PINCH ME, AHHHH! WE'RE GONNA LIVE THE REST OF OUR LIVES TOGETHER! I'M SO HAPPYYYYY. The wedding was amazing, too. The cake was a 3-tiered, honey bun flavor! It tasted so good. Just like the real thing.

I kept blushing so much as we exchanged our vows. I don't think I've ever been this happy before. Til death do us part

We went to Italy for our honeymoon. It was so beautiful. The food was amazing, too.

My Neeks and I have been talking, and we're thinking about adopting two kittens. I've never had a cat before, so I'm very excited.

Oh no, the world is ending. Or at least mine is. My friends have tracked me down to the farthest corner of the earth, and they're coming at me with pitch-forks and torches. I begged them to spare me, for I have two cats and a husband to take care of, but they are refusing to listen.

They gave me an ultimatum: I would divorce my Neeks, or suffer a terrible, and long death.

So I did what any man with a loving husband would do..

I filed for divorce.

Eventually, after a painfully brutal, tear-filled, heart-wrenching court case, Nico di Angelo and I were officially divorced..
But only under the law. Under the moonlight, my Neeks and I were a happy couple. We told no one. It was out secret.

Until one day, I was on sitting on a bench at the park, eating a warm, soft, and extremely delicious honey bun. And then I dropped it on the ground.
My Nee—Nico was kissing someone else. A girl, to be precise.
My mouth my wide open in shock. But I quickly overcame my shock, and so I went over to where Nico was kissing the girl. I slapped him across the face, tears welling in my eyes, as I scream, "How could you?! I trusted you, and you cheat on me like this?!"
I walked away, back to the bench I was sitting on, picked up what was left of my honey bun, and ate it.

My friends had seen and heard everything that had happened.
They came up to me, and comforted me.
I couldn't say anything, as I was choking on my sobs, but they all reassured me that everything would be okay.

———

It's been a couple weeks after I had caught Nico cheating on me.
I feel a bit better now, but I'm not completely healed.
I guess my friends were right about not dating until I had worked on myself.

Author's note: This is based on a true story.
Thanks for reading!