Damaged Memories

Part 19

When Grace reached Patrick's house she burst through the heavy front door and made a beeline for the bedroom, rushing to the side table as her thoughts spilled over, like water cascading over a waterfall. The entire way home she'd been trying to compile her thoughts into a letter that would show Patrick exactly how she felt about him, because if she wanted him to gaze into her eyes again with that look that always made her breath catch in her throat, then there was no point in sitting around moping about it – she had to get off her ass and fight for him until she had nothing else left to give. Only then would she be satisfied that she had tried everything to win back his heart.

She slipped the Valentine's Day card out from underneath the book and took it to the desk, sitting down to admire the picture on the front which was an uncanny resemblance to their relationship at that moment. The picture was a tree blowing in the wind and all of the leaves were red heart shapes, some of which had fallen to the grass while others still clung to the tree, refusing to let go. The hearts on the ground could quite easily have symbolised Patrick's love for her, as if his love had wilted and died, whilst Grace's feelings resembled the hearts on the branches that were clinging on for dear life. There were two black lovebirds sitting in the branches of the tree and right at the bottom in italics it simply read Happy Valentine's Day. Inside the card it was completely blank, thankfully, she had so much she wanted to say, so she picked up her pen and did what she did best. She wrote.

My dearest Patrick.

I can't imagine the pain and frustration that you have been feeling the past month, but I want you to know that you're not alone. I too have been feeling pain and frustration, but obviously for very different reasons. My pain has come from knowing that you are suffering with the loss of someone you love and my frustration has stemmed from the realisation that there isn't anything I can do to ease your pain.

I understand your heartbreak and what it's like to be told that your life isn't what it seems – I've been there too. I didn't lose my memories but I lost a husband who deceived me and was living another life with another woman. To say that I had been heartbroken was an understatement, but the one person who held me together when I thought I might break, was you. I want to be that person for you too.

My entire life, I've been wanting someone to make me feel like they were the only thing I needed. Like if the world ended tomorrow and I only had that one person, I would still be happy. I've been wanting someone to love me as much as I love them and I finally found all of that, and more, in you.

You've changed my life for the better. I'm a stronger, more confident person because of the love you shower me with every day and I don't want that person to disappear. So I'm praying that your suffering will ease soon and that you will one day be willing to continue on the incredible journey that we have shared together so far. Until that day comes, I want you to know that I'll be here waiting for you. I'm looking forward to the day when I can look into your eyes and see that unconditional love staring back at me once again. I know it's there, you just have to let yourself try.

We promised each other a short time ago that we would never give up on our relationship and I'm counting on you to keep your promise. This is me keeping mine.

I love you, more than you will ever know, always, Grace. x

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day.

When she finished writing she dropped the pen onto the desk as a long sigh escaped her mouth. For weeks she'd been struggling as her mind overdosed on miserable thoughts, but now that she'd been able to put down in words exactly how she was feeling, her head was as clear as a fresh spring morning. She re-read the card twice before she slid it back into the envelope, praying that the words inside would have the desired effect, then placed a gentle kiss on the front and headed outside to her car.