Can You Keep A Secret?

15. Serena

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul- especially our own. Our eyes reveal a truth that sometimes our words cannot. Yet, despite this, we are often afraid to truly look within ourselves and express what we're really feeling.

I remember when I moved to BrookSville after running away from my old life. A friend once told me that sometimes, our best defense mechanism is to change our identity and start anew. And as I submerged myself in the icy waters, I realized she was right. I was always running, always hiding, too afraid to confront not others, but my most inner self.

I held my breath and closed my eyes, feeling a sense of freedom. The water around me allowed me to access deep parts of my memories that I had been avoiding. When the anonymous sender sent me that photo of myself with a threatening message, I wanted to run away and never look back. I wasn't afraid of leaving my family or everything I knew behind. Sometimes, all I needed was my own company to take care of myself. So I held my breath a little longer, feeling the water suffocating me, but in a strangely comforting way.

"Hey Alyssa, can you take this order to table 9?" My colleague called out to me in a cheerful tone. I continued cleaning, but she called my name again. "Alyssa?" I looked up, caught off guard as she held a tray filled with burgers and milkshakes. I was still getting used to my new name, and I needed to be more careful or people would start to notice.

"Sorry Lena. I was a bit distracted," I said, placing my hand on my head.

Lena chuckled and waved it off. "No worries, just take this to table 9 and I'll handle the cleaning for you." She handed me the food and I walked over to the table with a smile on my face, as always. I always preferred cleaning over interacting with customers. Working in the back was just more my style.

"Here are your two whopper burgers and two milkshakes – one vanilla and one chocolate," I announced to the two couples at table 9. They confirmed their order with giggles and I placed their food on the table before heading back to the kitchen to find Lena busy cleaning and mopping the floor.

"Don't worry about it, Alyssa. It's your break time," she informed me, gesturing to the clock on the wall. It was 2:00 – it was time to pause after all.

"I think you need it," my friend Nina said, approaching me with a bag of food in hand. It was my favorite order – a chicken burger, nuggets, and fries. She motioned for us to go outside and sit on the ground, something we loved doing together. It didn't matter if the ground was dirty, it was just comfortable.

I opened the bag and started munching on the nuggets, feeling a sense of relief. I had been looking forward to this all day. "So... how are you doing?" Nina asked.

I took a sip of my Coke and thought about everything – the lies, the truth, my own fucked up life. "I just want to run away again," I admitted.

Nina took a bite of her burger as we both sat in silence, listening to the cars honking as they sped by. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently.

I dropped my food bag on the ground, suddenly losing my appetite. "I don't think I belong here, Nina," I confessed, looking at her as she watched a car zoom by.

"Then where do you belong?" It was a question I never liked. I knew I couldn't give the answer I wanted. There was no place I could think of where I could stay for long. "My aunt called..."

Nina nodded, understanding where I was going with this. She took a gulp of her drink and sighed. I could see a small smile on her face as she faced the road. "So you're moving away," she said, understanding my predicament. After everything that had happened the year before, she was the closest thing I had to family - my big sister who always took care of me.