The Sinner's Wrath (Fivedust Series #1)

Exordium

How do you define a sin?

Because for me, I do not understand what sin is. What's the true meaning behind it? If a tiger attacks its prey and kills, will it be considered evil? If a mother kills a person to protect her child, is it a crime? If a soldier kills an enemy, to protect his country, even though he does not have any personal enmity with the man or never knows who he is, is it considered wickedness?

Sin is defined as something that is in opposition to something that indicates forward progression in its most basic form. To put it another way, sin would be opposed to progress if moving forward is what progress is all about.

Sinful people are against progress. If God is a representation of progressing life, then anything that is in opposition to life would be considered sinful.

"I hope you know that we're only doing this for the family, Feyline..." Mom sweetly said while brushing my hair. She reeks of alcohol and somehow she always emits a strong stench that smells like chemicals or cleaning supplies when she gets home; I would say it smells like burnt plastic. This is how I know the scent of meth.

The antithesis of life is said to be death. In a strict sense, death is not progress; on the contrary, it is. There is no longer any progress as death is stopping and standing still. Sin is therefore everything that would support death.

The relationship between sin and death would eventually become clear if you looked into what the Bible calls sin. It is an immoral act considered to be a transgression of divine law.

Nangilid ang luha ko bago niyakap ang tuhod habang patuloy pa din siya sa pagsuklay ng buhok ko sa likod, "M-Mom, can I ask you a question?"

"Hmm? What is it?"

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin, "Do you think we could still start a new life? You know, we could go somewhere. Where we are free, happy..." Mahinang bulong ko.

Mom chuckled and kissed the top of my hair that made me shiver in fear, "Oh honey, we will never get out of this life. Or maybe... we just couldn't. Like at all. But whatever the answer is you should always know that we love you dearly so much and we're going to everything for you..."

Do everything for me? Ganoon ba talaga ang ginagawa nila? Kahit sa masasamang ginagawa nila sa'kin at sa mga tao sa paligid... para sa'kin pa din ba talaga 'yon? Dala dala ko pa din sila?

"But-"

"Na-uh." She clicked her tongue to cut me off. "Now, go to sleep. Have you finished your milk?" She sweetly asked.

I bit my lower lip to stop my tears from falling, "I-I'm sleepy now, mom." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at siya naman ay tumango tango.

"Oh sure, baby. Have a great night." She smiled at me one last time before standing up and went to off the light.

She smiled at me. It was supposed to be sweet and loving. But not for me. It was creepy. Dark. Scary. And I hate that smile. I really do. "I love you, my dear Feyline..." She slowly whispered before closing the door.

To answer your question about her behavior earlier, well, she still treats me like I'm a 10-year-old child even though I'm eighteen. Certainly, that is what her mind is telling her. Her manner of thinking is being destroyed by the God knows what kind of drugs she is taking.

That's my cue to finally cry. Being sad is the book of what hurts you and it takes courage to read pages inked in your own tears. Although crying has always been a healthy release, for me it has become a habit. My sandcastles were destroyed by the blue emotion, which came in like an unwelcome wave.

I inhaled sharply. Mom is spiraling out of control and using drugs to escape the issue ever since Dad was put in jail for running the drug enterprise he oversaw.