To Hold a Heart ✓

epilogue

Three years later

Jax

Stephanotis. They're everywhere, the heady fragrance mingling with the dewy scent that the early morning brought.

A few weeks ago, a gold-embossed RVSP arrived at my doorstep, and I opened it with the brides-to-be, also known as my roommates. Emily weds Georgia; who would've seen that coming?

In the two years after graduation, Arden, Emily, Georgia and I moved into a flat together. Noel and I tried to keep our relationship going, but it fizzled out in a matter of weeks after senior year ended. We were too different. She struggled, and I struggled. I needed to figure out where my life was heading.

So our paths diverged, while Emily and Georgia's converged. They made sense together; my oldest friend who was more serious and refined, to match Emily's happy, bubbly energy. Dating for a year confirmed what we all knew before Georgia proposed.

I turn up to the reception hall an hour early, my heart in my throat. I'm wearing a rented tuxedo, and the collar feels constricting in the hot Los Angeles sun.

When I open the grand double doors, I catch a glimpse of Emily in a beautiful white meringue gown. When she looks over at me, one of the brides-to-be hurries over to give me a hug.

"Hey, roommate." Emily greets me, then her eyes widen. "Gosh, I mean soon to be ex-roommate. I still can't believe that I'm moving in with G."

"Or that you're getting married to her?" Arden sweeps into the conversation with a cheeky smile. Emily rolls her eyes at him, and he winks back at her. "What happened to staying single forever with me?"

"Sorry for breaking the pact." Georgia kisses Emily on the cheek, then she smiles warmly at me. "Hey, Ajax."

"Hey yourself, Georgina." I retaliate with her full name, then I grin. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." she says appreciatively, holding her soon-to-be wife's hand.

Arden turns to me. "You go by Ajax now? I thought you hated your name."

"Hate is a strong word." I think to myself. "I felt... awkward in my skin. Now I feel freer. More able to be myself."

Emily smiles warmly at me. "I'm proud of you, and very happy to hear that."

"And you!" Arden points a finger at Georgia, who looks at him with less than an impressed expression. "Your full name's Georgina? Am I the only one who didn't know this?"

"Yes." Emily and I chorus. He rolls his eyes and sighs at us.

"I have to steal Jax. See you guys later." Georgia takes me by the arm in a vice grip. As she walks us away, and I wave goodbye over my shoulder to Arden and Emily.

Once we've reached an abandoned archway, Georgia turns to me with a steely glint in her eye. "Did you know that Noel's coming? Emily invited her, and she RVSP'd."

My heart overturns in my chest. "I haven't spoken to Noel in years. How would I have known that unless you or Emily told me?"

"I'm just saying that if you want closure, here's your chance. Don't mess it up." Georgia warns me.

"I feel so much better now. Thank you." I drone sarcastically.

She winks at me, grinning. She's looked so much lighter and happier since her engagement. "What are friends for?"

"Georgia!" Emily calls, gesturing her over. "What flower was going to be on the archway again?"

Georgia grimaces apologetically at me. "Sorry, duty calls."

I wave a hand aimlessly in the air. "Don't worry about it. And don't work too hard, yeah?" I smirk.

She grins back at me, her eyes lightening. "Don't worry. I'll enjoy my own wedding."

Georgia wanders off, leaving me to my thoughts.

///

The ceremony is beautiful. Flowers line the golden archway where Georgia waits for Emily. Crescents are suspended from the top of the curve, alternating direction like the crests on a wave.

I sit somewhere discreet in the middle of the seated guests; a little to the left, somewhere where I can show my support without being in the spotlight. My eyes search unconsciously for a memory of flowing hair and bright eyes.

As the sun hits its highest mark in the sky, the quartet to Georgia's right start up a slow, grand melody. Everyone turns to Emily, who walks down the aisle gracefully in time with the music. She looks serene in the golden light.

And Margot, the girl I've been looking for since high school, walks demurely behind Emily in a floaty lilac dress that falls to her knees. Her golden hair is pinned up with softer locks loose around her slender neck, with a stephanotis flower weaved in. She's holding the hem of Emily's train, smiling and looking straight ahead of herself.

Until she passes my row. When she brushes past, she looks in my direction. Our eyes meet, and I swear my heart skips a beat, flutters in my chest like a broken bird.

She gives me a distant smile and walks away. She takes a piece of my heart with her. I wonder if, when we finally, inevitably talk again, will my heart be re-pieced back together? Can it be glued back together at all?

I watch as the stephanotis flowers fall around us.

///

The wedding procession finishes by a beautiful pier, where the brides stop to take photos with their guests together. The sun is setting, and the dying sunlight casting gorgeous colours in its shade, like vibrant fuchsias and magentas, is a gorgeous sight.

An even more beautiful sight is Margot. She's forgone walking on the pier entirely. She ambles along the golden sand, barefoot in her dress. And I feel an inexplicable urge to join her.

When I finally catch up to her, I notice her eyes are fixed on the horizon. Without turning her gaze to me, she says, "I knew we'd need to talk eventually."

"So what stopped you?" I wonder.

She turns finally to look at me. "I'm not sure. Maybe I thought to myself I didn't need to clear anything up with you? Maybe I was deluding myself."

We walk side by side, pacing parallel to a singular sailboat cresting the waves far away from us. I frown at her. "Should I leave then?"

"No." she says quickly. "Stay with me, Jax. Please."

"I don't go by Jax anymore." I confess.

She looks at me with round eyes. "Really? I thought you didn't like your name."

"Why does everyone keep on telling me that?" I mumble, and she hears, laughing.

"I stand by what I said," Margot says confidently, drawing herself up to her full height. "I needed time to figure it out. And I am, every day."

"Piece by piece." I finish. Margot laughs, and the sound of it makes my heart inexplicably soar.

"It would be a stretch to say that I'm happy, but I'm content. Almost, anyway." She finds my eyes.

I smile at Margot. "Even if things change. Even if you call me Ajax, you'll always be Margot to me."

"I wouldn't expect it any other way." she agrees, brushing the back of her hand against mine.

I feel brave enough to reach my hand towards her, to gently pick out the flower in her hair. It eases out, and I lift it to my nose. Stephanotis are my favorite flowers now.

I fight the urge to smile like a child. She's practically told me that she still cares. I'm as content as she is, like I've just eaten a hot cookie straight out of the oven.

Life isn't a collection of bright, bursting moments of joy. Sometimes, all you need is to feel content in the rocking boat.

///