Kita na Kita (MaColet)

Una kitang nasilayan, di kita nakita

Maloi and I have always been friends for years. We were the closest as we started in Star Hunt Academy, me being a shy probinsyana who didn't speak Tagalog. Hand in hand, Maloi was always there to guide me and grow with me along the way until we became members of Bini. She was my anchor, my best friend, and the person who made the intimidating world of show business become bearable.

We became known for our chemistry on stage, the way we effortlessly moved in sync, our laughter infectious and evident bond. Fans adored our dynamic and how she calls me "uyab", often shipping us together, but I never saw her as someone who could potentially be my partner. For all I knew then, she was the straightest member of Bini, and her malambing and touchy moves were just all part of it. Her warmth and affection were always given, but I understood them as gestures of friendship, not romantic interest.

But things started to change after the height of our career, when Bini began slowing down and we focused on our own individual paths.

Maloi and I had both been single for a while. My last relationship ended because I couldn't connect deeply with my then-boyfriend, and Maloi's last relationship fizzled out similarly. We both found solace in our friendship, navigating the complexities of our emotions together.

The moment I truly realized I was in love with her came on the day Aiah and Mikha broke up.

We were all gathered at Aiah's hotel room, the air heavy with unspoken sorrow. Aiah was trying to hold herself together, but her heartbreak was evident. We all sat in a somber circle, the silence broken only by occasional sniffles. Maloi, across me, her eyes glistening with tears she didn't try to hide. She reached out to comfort Aiah, her empathy pouring out in waves. She cried with her, for her, holding her hands and offering more solace than words could convey.

Watching her, a profound warmth spread through my heart, a deep ache of admiration and longing. Her empathy was profound, her kindness boundless. In that moment, I realized I loved her—not just as a friend, but as someone I yearned to be with, someone whose presence illuminated my world.

I know it wasn't jus a fleeting crush; it was a soul-deep revelation. My heart pounded with the weight of emotions I could no longer ignore. Her smile like a light, guiding me through the darkest times, and her laughter was the sweetest melody I'd ever heard.

After that day, we started hanging out more. At first, it was with Aiah, trying to help her through the difficult days. We never left Mikha out of it because she is our friend, too, and needed our support. Through it all, Maloi remained a steady presence, her eyes always carrying that gentle, yearning look that made my heart flutter. We spent more time together, finding solace in each other's company. Every shared glance, every giggle, every moment of silence felt charged with an unspoken connection.

—-

All my relationships had been with guys, but I always sensed a potential to be with girls. However, my family's expectations and my own priorities kept me from exploring these feelings. Perhaps it was an oversight in the past, or perhaps I was growing into the person who could love Maloi. Yet now, these feelings are undeniable, and I find myself unsure of how to act on them, especially when we've been best friends, almost like sisters, through the years.

The recent breakup of Aiah and Mikha has been a frightening example for me. It took them years to act on their feelings, but they still ended up in the most heartbreaking split I've ever witnessed. It affected all of us deeply, but Maloi was particularly torn up, often shedding tears when she remembered their love story that ended in tragedy. Their once vibrant love now served as a cautionary tale, a stark reminder of the risks involved.

However, there's also hope. Jhoanna and Stacey have fought through every adversity and societal judgment, not just for their love but for the foundation of their friendship. Their resilience and commitment inspire me to believe that a deep friendship can transition into a lasting romantic relationship. They are the motivation amidst the shadows of doubt, showing that love, when true and pure, can withstand any storm.

The question now is: Is Maloi open to being with me? Can our bond withstand the transformation from friends to something more? It's a risk, but perhaps one worth taking, as the potential for a beautiful love story lies within our shared history and deep connection.

With my heart racing with possibilities, I decided to seek help from someone who knew me—and Maloi—better than anyone else: Gwen.

Gwen and I may have had a brief thing in the past, something purely physical, but it helped us forge an understanding that even I couldn't fully express. Despite the oddity of asking help from someone who hadn't been in a serious relationship during our Star Hunt and Bini days, Gwen was the one who seemed to know all the secrets of the group.

"Are you serious, Ate Colet? No joking?" Gwen was shocked when I told her my plan. Her eyes grew bigger, reflecting my own surprise and fear.

"But, I thought you've been just friends? Why now?"

"I don't know either, but I think I have wasted too much time."

"What if you end up like Ate Aiah and Mikha?"

"But what if we are as strong, or even stronger, than Jhoanna and Stacey?"

"Kung sabagay."

So, Gwen and I began to plan. First, I would ask Maloi on an out-of-town trip, just in Batangas. The idea was to create a setting where we could be alone, away from the pressures of our careers and the watchful eyes of others. It would be a chance to explore these feelings in a space that felt safe and intimate.

The anticipation of the trip filled me with a mix of excitement and dread. What if Maloi said no? What if she didn't see me that way? But Gwen reassured me, her confidence in our plan bolstering my own resolve.

—-

One breezy afternoon, with the sun casting a warm glow over the city, I found Maloi sitting quietly by the studio window, lost in her thoughts. My heart pounded as I approached her, each step feeling like a leap into the unknown.

"Maloi," I began, my voice wavering slightly, "I was thinking... we've been so busy lately, and I feel like we haven't had much time to just relax and be ourselves. How about we go on a trip together? Just the two of us. To Batangas."

Maloi looked up, her eyes wide with surprise. For a moment, I feared the worst. But then, a soft smile spread across her face.

"That sounds wonderful. I'd love to."

With that simple agreement, the foundation of our trip—and perhaps something more—was set.