In The Crowd - Billie Eilish

Chapter Twenty-Three - Billie

It's so hard trying to get through a two-hour show knowing my girlfriend isn't talking to me. I mean, she's talking to me she just won't talk about what happened at Gia's. I just don't understand. She said she would explain, but then she never did. She was talking to Gia when Finneas and I got there, and it seemed like a heated conversation. But mostly on Y/n's side. Gia looked like she didn't want to be having the conversation. At first, I was concerned about what happened between her and Liam because she's told me about how he treats her. I wonder if they were talking about that.

So much of me wants to end this show early just so I can go be with my girlfriend, but I don't wanna disappoint any of the fans here. We're already about an hour into it. There is only one more hour to go, and I can be with her. I just need to stop thinking about that and start thinking about this show and where I'm at right now.

"Hi guys," I said to the huge crowd in front of me. They're all screaming and being loud. I smile, looking out at all of them. "How are you guys? Is everybody okay?" I ask, and everybody starts screaming yes. "Good, good."

I start reading all the signs people are holding up and laughing at some of the things they're saying and seeing all the 'I love you's' and stuff like that. It's things like that that make me happy that I got to this point.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I giggle at that. "Hm, I don't know about that one. I might be -" I stop. "No, I probably shouldn't say that." Everybody starts screaming again. I look back at Finneas, who smiles at me. "Shhh," I say, and they all get quiet.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Something yells. I laugh and shake my head at the question.

"Oh, my God guys," I sigh and stay quiet for a second. "Let's get this show going again,"

-

I'm basically running backstage to try and find Y/n. It feels like it was taking forever to get to the room at her, and everybody else is in. When I finally get there, I practically tear the door down to see her again, but when I open the door, I don't see her. Just Claudia and my parents.

"Where's Y/n?" I ask. My parents shrug.

"She left," Claudia says.

"What do you mean she left?" I ask.

"We were talking, and then she just got up and left. No warning. Didn't say where she was going. She grabbed her stuff and left," she explains. I immediately pull out my phone and call her. No answer. I guess I'll text her.

Me: Hey, where are you? The show is over. I was gonna ask if you wanted to go get food and talk because we haven't really talked much over the last week. Call me when you see this, please

-

I haven't heard from Y/n all night. It's almost three in the morning. I can't sleep because I don't know where she's at and I'm worried. I was at the hotel with Finneas and Claudia. They were trying to calm me down because I was freaking out. It didn't really work because I'm still freaking out. I keep thinking about my past relationships and the lack of communication and how bad those were. But Y/n has always been good at it. She calls out my mistakes, and she admits and corrects hers. We've never had any issues, so I don't understand what's happening. Was it something I did? I don't know. I really wish I could sleep but I can't. I don't have Y/n here. I'm at her parents' all by myself and have no idea where she's at. I need to distract myself.

I decided to take a shower. It didn't really help, but now I feel clean and a little bit calmer. I start going through her closet to find something to wear. I just grab a T-shirt and boxers and change. I grab my phone to see if she called or texted.