Random rants

Home

This house is not a home.

Not anymore.

Not since I was forced to grow up so soon.

You wouldn't understand even if I told you.

I wish it were different.

I could've been the little sister and you the older.

But life had a different plan.

I grew physically and mentally.

You never grew mentally.

I love you with all my heart.

But you can't do the same.

I was forced to play a role I didn't want at such a young age.

I was given something to look after and they took it away and got mad when I didn't understand why.

I tried to explain but nothing worked.

You will never know the nights i spent crying for a life I wish I had

Weeping for something I could never have.

A home where nothing is broken.

Where I have nothing to worry about other than school.

A home where I can feel safe all the time

I lost my home when I confided in her and got yelled at for being something I had no choice in.

The day I lost my home was the same day I stopped feeling safe.

You will never understand as you are loved unconditionally.

Always safe and never forgotten.

I had to learn the hard reality.

I had to learn that my home is just a house.

A place to eat, sleep and where I'm supposed to feel safe.

But with the lies and sleepless nights this house is not that place. 

Notes: this is about my home life and it shifts from talking about my sister to talking about my mom.