"Anyone want the last doughnut?" said Steve, eyeing it.
"Yes," said Peter firmly. Steve silently pushed the plate across the kitchen table.
"People who wear costumes like ours have to watch our diets" retorted Nat.
"Are you saying I'm fat?" Cap demanded in mock outrage.
"Actually I've often thought that having a fantastic ass must be an important part of the whole Captain America franchise." said Peter, and put his head in his hands.
There was an awkward silence. Logan opened another beer.
"I don't care if your liver regenerates; you drink too much." Peter didn't look up. "And Cap, I can always tell when you're staring at me even when i'm not looking. And it's far too often."
"How?" Steve asked before realizing he confirmed Peter comment.
"Spider senses remember?" Peter said simply.
"He's probably got a crush on you." Logan smirked Steve.
"No, but Mary Jane has. She's always finding something to do in the gym when I'm working out."
"It's okay, I knew that," Peter said. Logan and Jessica both stared at him.
"What?"
Logan shook his head and looked at the door.
"Stark's back," he remarked.
"Oh, thank God, said Jessica.
"He's not due back until tomorrow." Peter's head snapped up, eyes wide with horror.
"Oh, I called him and told him what had happened - " Steve trailed off as Peter glared at him.
"You know, Cap, I can actually believe you did that, because -" Jessica clapped a hand over his mouth and the rest was unintelligible. Steve shrank in his chair. Peter took a breath and gently removed her hand.
"Thank you, Jessica. I'm sorry, Steve."
"Oh, wow, you really are," said Steve, surprised, and then Tony appeared in the doorway.
"Hey!" He spotted Peter's abandoned doughnut and made a beeline for it. "Miss me?"
"Yes, very much," Peter said, and Tony paused with the doughnut halfway to his mouth.
"You did?"
"Yes, I kept waking up in the night and you weren't there, I almost called you half a dozen times just to hear your voice. Yesterday I watched the tape of that interview of you on the Daily Show, and when Steve came in pretended it was a re-run."
"You actually weren't kidding about the truth serum, were you?" Tony was staring at Peter with a kind of unholy glee.
"No. We have to keep an eye on him in case of these allergic reactions."
Steve passed him the list. "And by we, now you're home, I mean you."
" I never realised how many alarming thoughts Peter has. I was kind of expecting him to talk about Space Oddities, by Harry Cliff. on repeat."
"I do like Space Oddities." Peter admitted. "But right now, I'd like to leave this terrible conversation and go and have sex with Tony, because it's been three days and that's far too long."
"You usually cope fine." Tony pressed a hand to his mouth, obviously trying not to laugh.
"But I don't like having to. We should have sex every day, at least, and you should never leave town. Or you should take me with you. I don't like your company because it takes up time you should be spending with me." Peter rested his head on the table with a low moan. "I wish I could think of a way to mute myself without permanent damage."
