Make me stay

Chapter four- atlas

I opened my door to bring in the parcel i received but i came to a halt because infront of me, was standing, Erica. Looking heavenly in that pink gown, pink suits her so well. In her hands i see a tray full of muffins and the smell of freshly baked muffins lingering in air. I hate the effect she has on me. And why does she look terrified? I followed her gaze and it led towards

Uh ohh

I didn't have a shirt on, well atleast i look hot. Shut up bruh wtf.
"Hey um I bought these muffins for you, i ruined your sleep last night and i felt bad for that. I hope you will find these yum. I made them an hour ago. It's still fresh and warm." she was looking at the tray, blushing adorably. How could I forget to put a shirt on ugh.

 "Hey come in, give me two minutes ill be right back" i invited her in and closed the door. I strode off to get my shirt. She was looking at the paintings on my wall with doe eyes. "Did you paint these?" She asked, keeping the tray on my counter but her eyes were on the wall."No, my mother did." I answered taking the tray from the counter and keeping them on the table.

"They are so amazing." i could see her eyes welling up but she got a hold on herself before i could ask anything. I wonder what made her react like that.
"Thank you erica. So you did bring me muffins. What flavor are these?" i asked her already taking a bite on one. Holy shit. This is perfect. She is perfect. But okay no why is it she makes me feel something i cant get a hold on.

"3 blueberry muffins, 3 chocolate muffins and 3 fruit muffins." she chirped swaying on her heels. Before i could answer, my phone started to ring. I put it on silent but i could see her face change the emotions. "Well i will leave now im sure you have works to do, i dont wanna waste your time. Pickup the phone please its okay, i will be leaving now, make sure to let me know how those tasted and yeah i'm sorry if i bothered you at this time. I wasnt sure if you would be home so i came either way but yeah-
"Breathe angel. You didnt bother me infact the muffins are too good. And im not busy today." i assured her. She seems to overthink too much.
 "Well um its okay i will get back to my friend. She is waiting for me. Take care atlas." she mumbled and got up to leave.
"Okay. we'll meet soon, take care." i said looking in her big brown eyes. She is so perfect it makes me feel every emotions i once thought i could never feel. She nodded and left.
 It was like she took all the good feelings with her when she left. Now im alone again with cold feelings, empty heart and a tray full of muffins made by my angel.She indeed is. Brought light in my dark life. Looking at her brings me comfort. I feel an unfamiliar burn in my chest and i ignore it.

 My friends called me to meet them in our club so I headed off there. Arhan was about to bring his girlfriend today so he wanted to introduce her to us. I dont drink so i was enjoying myself with a simple lemonade and laughing and joking with my friends. Their love life is a dramatic story each. Josh found a girl but it turns out that she was a spammer. Zach had a girlfriend but their usual fights kept going on and on. We told him to fix his life before his girlfriend make him go insane. But love is love. They are so foolishly in love i wonder if i will ever feel that.

"Guys look whos here! Meet my girl Lia Ross and this is her friend Erica Caine. Lia told me last moment that her friend will also join us." Arhan entered with lia and yes. Yes it was My Erica. It seems like wherever i go, she is there. God help me. We all welcomed lia and erica and told josh to behave himself because he is an idiot and who knows what he tells infront of them that could make me look like an idiot

"Hey isnt this the girl you were staring at in the park that day?" josh asked me knowing this is the same girl but he just loves to rile me up.
"Yeah and you are going to keep your mouth shut idiot" i snapped.
"Bruh fine who got your panties in a twist?" he laughed at me.
"What the hell? Who needs anyone else when you are there to to make everyone go insane buddy" i clapped on his shoulder. As he was going to answer me Erica came towards us. Josh smirked at me and smiled at erica then left us alone.

"Hey we meet again" she smiled.
"Yeah. How are you? Everything okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned because she was looking sick.
"Yeah just not feeling that good but im okay thanks.' she answered in a soft voice.
I brought juice for her. She looked so pale. We were sitting at the counter and our friends were dancing and having fun. I dont usually do these. I just come to visit my friends and have a good time. Drinking and dancing is not for me.
"Can you get my bag for me? Its o-over th-there" she started to hyperventilate. I took her hand and moved her to the private booth next to us. She was having a panic attack. Fuck.

I grabbed her bag and i saw some meds. But she wasnt in the state to tell me which one she needs and i didnt need to know because that white box of tablets was way too familiar to me. I took one and gave it to her with some water.
She was rocking back and forth, crying and shaking. After she took her meds.
I moved closer to her and took her on my lap. Both us rocking back and forth while she was shaking and crying.
"Shh shh its okay. You're okay, i've got you. Shh angel its fine. We are fine." i cooed but i inside of me there was this strong helpless feeling. I wish the thing bothering her was a person or something. So i could destroy it. But its her mind. And its her battle to fight. All i can do is hold her tight and remind her everything is okay.
"I do-dont deserve to live. I dont deserve to live. Im such a-a di-dissapoinment' she cried in my arms harder.
"You do angel, you deserve to live. You deserve every good thing in this world. You are perfect. You are strong and brave" i assured her, helpless i cant do anything to make her feel alright now. She was sobbing,
Sweating. I held her in my arms for what felt like forever.
"You wanna go home now angel? Do you want me to take you home?" i asked her after her attack seemed to cool down a bit.
"I dont wanna bother you, can you ask lia to take me home please?" her muffled voice broke my heart.
She is so cheerful, always laughing and making others happy. Her voice so defeated and low broke something in my heart.

"I will take you home now okay? Can you stand or should i pick you up? I asked her concerned.
"No its okay i can stand, im feeling so pathetic and helpless." she said in her soft voice.
"You are not pathetic and helpless. You are braver than anyone. Okay?"
"Okay"
"Good lets go home now, shall we?'
She nodded slowly.

We reached my car and i settled her in the seat and before driving back home i shoot text to my friends that im going home as Erica is not well.

The whole ride she was sitting beside me silently staring out the window. Her skin pale, eyes lost their shining glint. I didnt initiate any conversation as she might need some time to process her thoughts.

We reached her apartment. She was not speaking nor showing any improvement. Fuck. Since when does she have this bad panic attacks. I took her to the bedroom and settled her in bed. There were literally 5 pillows and 2 giant teddy. Who sleeps with so many pillows? After making sure she was asleep i was about to leave and thats when she held my hand. I turned around to see her awake.
"Im scared, can you please stay." she whispered. And hell i will stay. Id do anything for her to keep her safe and protected. I sat on the sofa beside her bed. Holding her hand. I smiled reassuringly. She drifted to sleep soon. I stared at her face. She looks so calm now, tucked in bed.

Finally i found my reason. I will protect her, keep her close. Nobody can harm my angel. But i have to know what happened to her, what is she afraid of? Why does she think she dont deserve to live. The thought of not having her around turns my blood cold. I move away a strand of her hair gently from her face while i promise to myself i will be there for her. I will show her how precious she is. I will show you my angel, how fucking important you are to me now.