Across the Multiverse

Prologue

12:44 - 12:48 on Earth 25, in Granada, Spain.

It started again. The feeling of never knowing whether we'll be together tomorrow hit like a brick. It feels like I'm always sharing him. It hurts, badly, but there's nothing I can do. He stopped calling everyday, rarely texts and spends all his time with her. I try to trust him but it's hard when he spends such little time with me, when he is rarely there to give me reassurance.

Trust me, I have nothing against her, it's just that he seems to have chosen her over me. It always seems like he's choosing her over me and it hurts. I knew it would but it hurts a million times worse than I expected.

I just wonder, will I ever be his first choice?

I just wish I wasn't myself.

*************

12:44 - 12:48 on Earth 22, in Chicago, USA.

There he goes again.  Leaving me with more anxious thoughts. It feels as of he isn't the same person I once knew. We've been going back and forth about this. Why can't he just make a decision? I keep asking myself if maybe I'm being impatient, maybe I'm being pushy? Am I being overbearing? Am I being a nuisance? There questions spiral. Though it would hurt, he could pick him and I would be satisfied, at least i would've gotten an answer.

Not knowing hurts way worse than the pain of rejection. I would rather be heartbroken than be kept in an endless spiral of false hope and anxious anticipation.

This is one of those days I wish I was someone else. I wish I wasn't me! I wish he would always choose me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~
12:44 - 12:48 on Earth 21, in Seoul, South Korea.

Pain. That's all I feel. It feels like my heart is cracked glass. I'm sitting in the middle of my mess of a room, crying my heart out. Was I not enough. Why would he do this to me? What's worse is he didn't even seem remorseful. He just looked like he felt bad for getting caught.

What's worse is it was my best friend. Well, ex-best friend, my best friend of 16 years was willing to stab me in the back for one stupid guy. What's worse is, they weren't even trying hard to hide it. I just always shrugged it off. Trusting him way too much. Why, why would he do this to me? Did our relationship- a relationship we had to fight for,  a relationship of 3 years- mean nothing to him. How could I let happen. I let him in, let him into my circle, let him know every square inch of me and he still did this to me?

I wish...I wish I wasn't feeling this pain, I wish I wasn't me!

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

12:44 - 12:48 on Earth 24, in Vancouver, Canada

Sitting in a café, I looked into his eyes as he gave me news I'd been expecting but still gave my heart strings a light tug. I thought we were soulmates but reality ruined that dream for me. I knew he didn't want to hurt me but it still hurts, so I made up an excuse to leave then walked out.

I knew he lost feelings but still with a little bit of hope , I tried to save our relationship but I seemed to be the only one putting in the work and now 6 years go down the drain.

I love him, I really do, but I understand that I can't have him. If the Multiverse is real. I hope the other me still has you.

I just wish I wasn't me?

×××××××××××

12:44 - 12:48 on Earth 23, in Berlin, Germany.

Together forever  he said but it was just another man spitting venom. How could they, how could he. I get that his whole persona is cruelty but he loved me, I know it. I'm not just a number down that long line. I owned his heart so what happened. Why can't he be mine. Did I spend so long waiting for no reason? How could he do this when he promised me I would be his? Then why would he leave me alone in this world? Why? Why? Why? Why did he have to die'?

Why, I've never WISHED to be someone else than I do right now. I wish i was someone else!!

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And that's how it all began.