Another Winter (gxg)

Chapter 1: The Dream

Looking out of the window, gazing at the perfect gentle dance of winter and scrupulously crafted snowflakes that gleamed in the streetlight shine, I couldn't help but smile.

- "Honey, can you please pour me some wine?"

I say, while still observing the beauty of the winter's tale.

Not hearing anything in return, I slowly turn my gaze towards Eris, and instead of her face, I see a blank space. Just darkness and cold. The warmth that was filling the room just moments ago disappeared, replaced by an icy void. The feeling of fear slowly washed over my body, and I collapsed to the floor.

- "Woke up covered in a cold sweat. Terrible."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

- "Damn. Dramatic."

Morgan remarked.

- "I know, right? I am so annoyed that dreams about her still haunt me. It's been almost 5 years for fuck's sake!"

My annoyance was obvious.

- "With the way you have described your night terror, I might as well say, that you should start creative writing."

She laughed slightly, in an attempt to change the topic while glancing into the depth of her coffee cup.

- "Just because I'm starting to work for a publishing company doesn't mean I can become a writer myself. But, I must admit, it does sound tempting."

I offered a smile, trying to shrug off the lingering uneasiness in my mind.

- "Aren't you excited? You have been pushing yourself so hard to get this position!"

Avoiding the curious gaze of Morgan, I looked over her shoulder to see a beautiful snowfall trying its best to blanket the streets in its chilly embrace.

- "Hey, Stella? Can you please talk to me?"

She tilted her head a little, covering my view and giving me her best judgmental look.

- "Sorry, I can't help but hate the weather outside. The worst season in full bloom."

My face tried to muster at least some kind of a reaction for my best friend, but instead, it ended with an awkward grimace.

- "I know you don't like talking about your feelings when you are anxious... But please, appreciate how far you've come and that there's nothing to be scared of. Everyone will adore you."

Morgan reached her hand to mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. A small sigh escaped my mouth, and I managed another weak smile.

I wish she knew, that none of my worries were about a new workplace or even the thoughts of my soon-to-be coworkers.

Winter used to be my favorite season. The cold outside didn't bother me because I would carry the warmth within, the kind that only she could give me... Home was a place filled with love, a place where all of my worries would dissipate as if they never existed. But, since that godforsaken day of freezing and unwelcoming January, every bit of that warmth has left my house, my city, and worst of all, my soul.

Almost 5 years filled with loneliness, hatred, and utter confusion. Why did she do this to me? Don't I deserve at least some kind of explanation?

Those questions would creep into my mind like the most unwelcomed guest, invading my sanity, and casting shadows over even the best memories of us. Each time I'd plead with myself to save at least a trace of her warmth buried somewhere deep, to avoid losing myself entirely, to cling to the hope that she once gifted me.