Sastiel Through the Seasons

Season 4

Observing him was one thing; meeting him was another.

Castiel knew that feeling when he first met Sam Winchester. The thing, the emotion he'd heard humans speak about for millennia: Love. Love at first sight, as a matter of fact. Dean loathed the angel who saved him from perdition at first. Sam was glad to meet the angel, honored, in fact. Untill Castiel called him "the boy with the demon blood," and Sam was washed over with guilt.

The angel knew he wasn't allowed to be with humans, wasn't allowed to love anyone like he loved Sam. He knew it, and so did the angels who punished when he was sent back to heaven and put in jail.

"He doesn't love you," An angel said, drilling in to Castiel's head, "He's a human, are you insane?"

"Gahh!" Cas yelled.

"Sam Winchester is evil," Another screw was drilled into Cas's head, "You are not to help him."

"He is not evil," Castiel argued.

The angel slapped Castiel.

"You have become too close to the Winchesters."

"I was only following orders," Castiel defended.

The angel slapped him again.

"We have read your thoughts, Castiel. The angels know that you feel for Sam."

"You don't know anything," Cas spat.

The angel drilled another screw into Castiel's head.

"You will do as you are told, understood?"

"Yes," Tears streamed down Castiel's face.

Sam wished Dean would help him, wished his brother didn't hate him.

"You're a monster, a vampire," The voicemail had said.

And Lillith. Sam wished he'd known Ruby was lying, the angels were in on it, and he released Lucifer. The end of the world was all his fault. At least Dean showed up, though it terrified Sam at first, as he thought Dean was going to kill him. Ruby, someone he even began to love, was dead.