SR ε: Dry Veins (2021)

ACT TWO | Ch.5: Repercussions

Crash
Dunno

Can't move... a single muscle. In my body. I have never been in such great pain in my entire life. This is the end... for me. Tell the people who love me... that I'd like to learn their names.

Nightmare
Oh my God

I had the freakiest dream last night. I was a spider-person, like Tarantula Man... but I was NOT a hero. I was freaky, and spindly, with eight fleshy leg spikes and several beady eyes all over my face. I was skittering around on this giant web of reddish-pink tissue, and it had a giant, hungry face in the middle with mashed-up, broken teeth. It called itself Mr. Knocks, for some reason... told me I had to "open the door" for him. I don't think I'll be doing that, but his pull on me seemed absolute – like I couldn't refuse him if I wanted to, or I'd start having a brain aneurism. Then I wandered into this cave, with all these spider-egg-looking things – but they weren't for baby spiders. They were boiling and gushing with viscous yellowish blood, and these small silvery fish with little gremlin legs were crawling out of them on all fours. They were biting at each other and at the floor below, which looked like a platform made of muscle and sinew... beating black and red veins pulsed under my feet, and I could feel every single beat and draw. In the center of the room was a small, glowing orb... I stumbled over to pick it up, unable to move my feet very far – it seemed impossible to step forward, like I was being sucked down into the ground by my own weight. It made me feel like a child again, for some reason. But I couldn't wake up even if I wanted to, so eventually, I did make it to the small orb, which was kinda pinkish red, but lighter. It was an apple, I guess, but kinda crystallized. I wasn't sure what the point was, so I just bit into it and ate it. It tasted exactly like apple juice. Then I felt really happy, but I saw the spider eggs start to shake and pulsate, and grow bigger. And I felt something tighten in my head, and in my legs, and stomach. Actually, the feeling was all over me. It's hard to describe, other than... it was like my veins were running completely dry. The boundaries of my tendons and skin felt like they were paper, and about to tear at any moment.

Anyway, I woke up breathing so hard I thought my lungs were gonna burst. I wonder if maybe it was trying to tell me something? I also didn't like that it reminded me about my legs... I was born with clubbed feet, on both sides. It was surgically-corrected when I was little, and I had to wear a cast and use a walker in kindergarten... it's okay now, though, for the most part. I've got, like, an exercise regimen or whatever to keep it loose. It's usually pretty tight, though, no matter what I do. I've got this zipper scar that runs all the way down my right ankle, and a little slice-mark on my left one, too. And my left leg will probably always be a half-size bigger than my right; not just the foot, but the entire leg. It's actually kind of difficult to walk sometimes, and I tend to lose my balance just going in a straight line. But when I'm balancing on a board, I do surprisingly well – I guess because my own feet give me a lot of practice? Too bad they're no more stable than I am, mentally.

Hungry
Whatever

I can't get enough food in me to save my life. My heart just keeps pounding, and my mouth is always dry. My veins, too, still – I feel like there's wet sand running through them. Everything itches. Jaijit keeps dropping his sloppy joe meat all over his lunch tray and it makes me wanna eat it off of his chin – whoah. Wow. That thought got out of hand, huh? But for real, he's having like... a sandwich, with egg salad and milk. And that shit smells so fucking good right now. I thought I was doing really well, but my mind is cresting on that fucking smell. Like someone unlocked the pearly gates for me. Then I look at the shit and it's just mashed up ovarian tissue and regurgitated flesh. And I want him to feed it to me, slowly. What the fuck is wrong with me?