Tenderness by The Neck

Chapter 1 - One day I met a strange man.

My fingers were cold. I held my single crutch between my legs as the bus moved leisurely. It was slow enough that a small jog would have gotten me home faster, but that was not an option. The snow fell and covered every inch of the world outside. I felt isolated and alone but it did not make me sad. Hia Jeong Eunbi. My name was made with meaning but I've always thought that it was too sentimental. Like the people who named me deeply cared for my well being. 'Hia' as in snow, Jeong as in quiet, and Eunbi with the specific meaning of rain, although Each of them were much more commonly used as a girl's names. I think the plan was for me to be a girl. I never met my mother. She was a single woman with very little family or connections. She died while giving birth to me. I was left skin bare in a hospital as the nurses searched for clothing that was meant for a 2 hour old baby boy. Everyone always said that I reminded them of winter. I've never denied that comparison. The bus shook as it came to a stop. I huffed and wiggled to make my way out of the seat and down the small aisle. There was an old woman in the back and a man behind me. Both were quiet and patient as I shuffled slowly to the open door. The cold wind hit me like a bullet. I took a step but the floor was so slippery that I was unable to catch myself. I almost fell forward into the pile of dreadful snow below me. Then suddenly a hand wrapped around me. It was a large bulky arm that gripped my waist from behind. The man who had been silently awaiting as I moved slowly down the aisle was now holding my tiny body up with a single arm. I turned slightly to see my savior. "T-Thank you..." I mumbled with my freezing lungs. The man gave me a simple look. The man's right hand held on to the cold side railing and he had one foot between my legs to the first step and his right hand pressed up against my thin stomach. My jacket rubbed against his skin as he gently began to place me down on to the sidewalk. "Don't mention it," The man smiled. His eyes were a light green and his black hair was shaggy but it looked refined and elegant. Like every feature of his body was always meant to be. I stood beside the stop sign as the man came out from behind me. He looked at me with a kind gaze while watching me adjust my crutch under my shoulder. I felt a bit embarrassed that he had to help me.

I often find myself feeling uncomfortable and useless when people pity me in such a way. It makes me feel like an unneeded existence in a world that strives for perfection. It was sickening. The man straightened his fine black coat. "You should be careful now," His voice was the definition of pleasurable. "A storm will come tonight so every inch of Yesan will be quite dangerous," The man informed me as if I couldn't have watched the news for that information. Like he was smart by mentioning it for my own sake. I knew this was the normal way of being nice. It was best to keep a smile and accept his words as is. Most people would not dig too deep into what he meant or how it could have been interpreted. That is what set me apart from the rest of the world. I have always been isolated. "Yes, and again... Thank you for your help Hyung," I gave him a pleasant smile. Then in the next few moments he turned to lean against the bus stop's pole and I turned to the left to drag myself down the street.

I felt compelled to get home and find the warmest blanket, take my meds, and to watch my favorite movie for the 100th time. For me, that was the completely normal reality people called odd behavior. Regardless, those are the same people who hide their true colors. I suddenly came to a stop. The snow piled at my feet and created a mini mountain. I had only taken a few steps before my mind strayed from my original plan.

I realized that today there would be a sale at the cafe. One where I could receive a large toasty cookie for just 500 won! The cookies were small and you would only receive 1 for your money, but the smell of sweetness captured my stomach in a way that could only be described as intense lust and longing for that delicious and cheap treat! I turned faster than the snow could fall. My breath froze as I huffed and pushed myself back into the opposite direction.

I was set on my new plan to arrive right around the corner in order to reach the cafe before closing time. I knew they would want to pack up early today. That is why it was faster to go now instead of placing an online order. The man was still standing at the bus stop although I don't believe he was waiting for a bus to arrive. He stood smoking a cigarette and scrolling on his phone. I didn't ignore his existence but I also said nothing as I passed by again. I could see the corner just a few feet away. The sidewalk was much more seeable now considering the cafe would have probably made it a priority to sweep away as much snow as they could. It seemed like a cute courtesy but it would not make the ground less slippery. I took a step with my left foot, the one with a bad bone fracture, but the ice decided to deny me the ability to walk! I almost slipped again, like on the bus, but this time I put my crutch in front of me so I would not fall. The man from before looked at me as if he were concerned for my safety. I still refused to act as if I needed any of his assistance. I continued to the cafe without paying his stares any mind. I turned the corner and reached for the door. It wasn't locked but I found that the push system was much harder when you're as weak as me. I struggled for a second just to simply enter the cafe. An arm then reached out and opened the door for me. It was the same one that saved me from a dwelling fall on the bus.

The mysterious man who had been smoking just outside was now helping me yet again. I felt stuck between feeling offended and grateful. Regardless I put on my brightest smile as I stepped through the door. "Oh, thank you," I responded to the gesture as I began to turn in order to see him clearly. The man stood while closing the door from behind. "Oh, don't mind it. I just so happened to be coming here as well," The man explained most likely so that I would not assume he was following me or had any intentions of helping me due to guilty obligations. Well that's what I chose to believe. The man smiled back at me like a loyal dog giving its owner a look of pure goodness. That kind of act was something I deeply despised. No one is truly THAT righteous.

I gave a small nod as to not start any more unnecessary conversation. I then turned back around to face the large menu. I shuffled up a bit to get closer to the register. My excitement was swayed by the overwhelming smell of chocolate! In secret I have been told by many doctors not to consume sweets very often. Those same doctors would be disappointed in my shameful and easily influenced mind. I rummaged through my pockets like a child in front of the ice cream van. "Welcome, what would you like sir?" The woman behind the register was taking the man's order next to me. Finally I pulled out a few crumbled bucks from my pocket. In total I knew it was around 570 won .The women left to make a coffee for the man so no one was there to take my simple request. I waited eagerly with my head just barely passing the height of the tall bar. I have always been short, standing as a 4'11-23-year-old. My raining name as the old child has been feared among the ranks of my fellow friends who all have long passed the height of 6 feet. The lady returned. "Yu-jun, your order is ready!" She said with enthusiasm. That must have been his name. I noticed that the cafe only asked the names of decent looking people. That was irritating.

Hyung came up to retrieve his drink. I also popped up beside the counter. My eyes sparkled with intensity. The lady gave the kind of face you'd show to a grandparent you've actively been avoiding but were forced to meet after a while. She wasn't even trying to cover her bias. "I'll have a cookie! The chocolate one's on sale please," I informed her as I placed my money on the counter. She looked to me with pity. "Of course, one moment," She used a pen to drag the yen across to her and completely disregarded my request. "So then, sir, would you like to see our coupon offers for the store's next sale?~" The blonde lady asked in the most up-right and perky voice she had. I huffed! The man had already grabbed his drink and was now stirring in some sweetener by the coffee appliances stand.

It is true he was still right beside the register but he had already turned away, so why would she redirect her attention to someone who clearly was not interested! Humans never fail to puzzle me. Yu-jun looked up to the woman like she was some kind of rabid animal. He sighed and pulled a bill from his pocket. "You have a bundle for those cookies, yes? Buy 2 get one free. I'll pay and when you're done please give the order to the young man standing next to me," Yu-jun said something absurd even for me! I stood unable to process the situation as the lady gave a sour face. "W-Wait," by the time I could speak the man was already leaving. The woman placed the cookies in front of me... I felt compelled to ask questions, to know why, but suddenly I found myself alone again.