❛𝓜𝔂 𝓜𝓮𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓲𝓪❞ (𝓫𝔂 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱)

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙾𝚗𝚎

Chapter One: Kindest Thing

I'm standing here, in this cold, empty place, feeling lost.

The ground beneath me is hard, unyielding, and the air around me feels heavy, like it's pressing in on all sides.

There's a stillness, a silence that I can't shake off.

I don't know how I got here, or what exactly I'm waiting for - just that something is supposed to happen.

Maybe. Or maybe nothing will.

Maybe I'll be stuck in this cold forever, waiting for something that doesn't exist.

I think about animals.

About how, when they're in pain - real, unbearable pain - sometimes the kindest thing we can do is put them down.

Euthanize them. Kill them.

It's meant to be compassionate, an end to their suffering.

I've thought about it before, wondered if that could be a solution for me.

A quiet, final way to end the endless ache that I don't quite understand.

But there's something missing in that thought. Something doesn't fit.

It's like I'm searching for a reason, or an answer, but I can't even figure out the question.

I know I've felt like this before, wondering if it's a necessary way out.

Yet here I am, still standing, waiting for something more than just an end.

Something that I can't quite name. Something that feels just out of reach.

Suddenly, a strange sound breaks through the silence, repeating over and over.

At first, I don't understand what it is.

Then, as it keeps going, it hits me: the alarm.

I force my eyes open, the room around me blurry, as the dream slips away.

Always the same emptiness, the same feeling of waiting for something that never comes.

Without thinking, I throw the blanket off and jump out of bed.

The room is freezing, and the alarm's constant ringing drills into my skull.

On impulse, I grab the mug next to me and hurl it at the alarm clock on my desk.

It crashes to the floor with a dull thud, finally silenced.

The quiet returns, but it's worse now. I know I have to go.

I have to do what needs to be done.

I stumble through the room, still half-asleep, dragging my feet.

I fling open the closet, hands moving quickly as I search for clothes.

My body is on autopilot, but my mind is elsewhere.

There's no time to think. Just get dressed, get out, and face whatever the day brings.

I grab the first sweatshirt I see - a dark yellow one - then a navy blue t-shirt.

I'm not paying much attention, just moving through the motions.

As I search for pants, I pass by my desk and notice my bracelets.

Without thinking, I grab them and slip them onto my wrists.

Then my eyes land on the broken chain lying next to them.