[Bre in media]
"Maybe the worst kind of suffocation is being stuck in your own mind" -atelophobiaxxx
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"She died last night sweetie." My mom broke the news of my sister. She was my half sister on my dad's side and I talked to her about any and everything.
"How?" I asked holding back tears.
"She.....killed herself. Overdosed." It was the last day of 11th grade today. My sister would have been celebrating her last day of college. She never seemed unhappy. I didn't understand.
I grabbed my bag and car keys leaving the house calmly. I drove to school with a knot in the throat the size of a baseball. I sat in the parking lot and got myself together. I hide my emotions from everyone at school.
I let them all think I'm an asshole so they don't get attached to someone that can't return feelings.
I walked into school to my homeroom where everyone was dancing and hanging out. I sat in my seat all the way in the corner and put my head down.
I wanted to cry so bad but all I did was stare at the floor with my head propped up on my books. I've never missed a day of school. I wasn't going to mess that up because of my sister's suicide.
The most popular girl in my grade walked over and sat next to me. She flipped her long black and orange curls over her shoulder and looked at me.
"Bre.. Are you alright? I mean.. You're always distant but it is the last day. I wanted to do something this summer with you." I sat my head up and rubbed my eyes.
"Jayla right?" She nodded. "I'm alright. Just tired. But we can do something this summer. I'm always down" I replied surprisingly. .
"Oh great. Here's my number and take a long nap when you get home because I plan on keeping you up all night" She walked away smiling. That was so weird.
I took her number and stuffed it in my jacket pocket. I had my curly afro hidden under my hood. I put on my sunglasses and waited for the bell to ring.
After School
My day was the longest of all today. I just kept thinking about my bed. I went and got in my car and sat there on my phone for a little while.
My mom texted me twice.
Mom- Breanna your father is here hurry home
Mom- Try not to cry in front of him. He's feeling a lot worse than you.
That made me so livid. She doesn't even know how I'm feeling. I was gone all day. She does this all the time. Assumes what I'm thinking or feeling.
I jumped when Jayla knocked on my window. I rolled it down curiously.
"Hey what are you still doing here?" She asked. I looked at the time. I had been sitting here for an hour.
"Oh I was just thinking" I exclaimed.
"Sorry if I'm asking too much of you but would you mind a little movie date with me later?" I got happy. I don't know why.
"Really? I'm not that fun Jayla. But sure you can come with me now" She smiled and got in the car on the passenger side.
"I find you extremely interesting. I just wanna get to know you better" She said with the same pretty smile on her face.
"Then you're off to a good start" I turned on TheHealingFields by Bones and drove home. I parked right besides my dad's car. We went inside the house and my dad stood up from the couch to hug me.
I gave him a hug back hearing him sniffle. Then I remembered Jayla.
"Oh uh" I pulled away. "Jayla my room is up the stairs at the end of the hallway"
She nodded and disappeared up the stairs.
"New girl in your life?" My dad asked avoiding the topic we both needed to talk about.
"No dad I don't think she's gay" I replied sitting on the couch with him.
"Oh. Well I guess you know why I'm here" I nodded feeling the knot come back.
"Yeah I do."
"She left a letter. For you." He handed an unopened letter to me that had a drawing of me and her lip imprint in black lipstick on the envelope.
"Thank you" I was trying to say as little as possible.
"Uh, Brenda and I are planning her funeral. I'll let you know when it is."
"Alright" We stood back up and hugged for a good two minutes. He kissed my forehead and I left to my room. I walked in dropping my bag on the floor.
I shut the door and sighed loudly.
"Everything okay?" Jayla asked. I nodded faking a smile.
"Yeah everything is perfect. You ready?" I just had to take my mind off of today.
"Oh one second." She got in front of my mirror and put her hair up in a ponytail and reapplied her chapstick. "Now I'm ready"
I took us to the movies and we walked in with no idea of what movie or time to see. I let Jayla pick some movie and I paid for everything. I bought some candy and we went to the section we were meant to be in.
We sat down and all I could focus on was how pretty Jayla was. Perfect white smile. Even light skin. Pretty green eyes. She caught me staring and blushed.
"Bre stop it. You're making me blush" I laughed and looked away.
"I'm sorry. Let's watch the movie"
To Be Continued.
