Love Deferred

chapter 23: hide and seek

One morning, Fides had a call... It was her Dad calling, asking her to go home on her mother's birthday... Fides feels a pain in her heart for her not going home for years even on special occasions...

"Dad, don't worry, I'll go home... I promise I will be there for Mom's birthday on Monday," Fides reassured her father over the phone, her voice tinged with a mixture of guilt and determination.

"Sweetheart?" Her father's voice carried a hint of relief and hope.

"Yes, Dad," Fides replied sincerely.

"Thank you, sweetheart... Your mom and I are getting older... We often get emotional... Your mom always talks about you... How are our Fides? Is she eating well, is she doing well, and more..." Her father's concern was palpable through the phone line.

"I promise, Dad, from now on, I will always make an effort to be home," Fides affirmed, feeling a pang of regret for not being there more often.

"Really?" Her father sounded hopeful yet cautious.

"Yes, and if you can find time, please visit me too, often," Fides added, wanting to reciprocate the effort her parents made to stay connected.

"Sweetheart, you know we find time... Once every two months, we visit you for a week, and that's regular... Your mom won't stop crying until we pack our things," her father chuckled softly.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Fides apologized again, feeling the weight of her absence.

"No worries, just promise me you'll be home," her father said warmly.

"Sure, Dad... I love you, I love Mommy, I love my triplet brothers and my triplet sisters... I love you all very much... Thank you for your support and understanding," Fides expressed her love and gratitude sincerely.

"We all love you too, sweetheart. Take care, your Fides," her father replied affectionately before they ended the call.

Fides sat aboard the plane, memories flooding her mind like a rush of turbulent emotions.

"You have to confront your issues, Fides," she thought to herself, her inner dialogue echoing in the solitude of her thoughts. "It's different now from when you left and where you're going back. Time molded you into the strong, independent woman you are today. You've proven yourself capable, succeeding with the guidance and support of your parents."

She sighed softly, grappling with unresolved feelings. "But it's too early for that, Fides," she chided herself, trying to suppress the rush of conflicting emotions.

"I just want to tell you I love you, Andrei," she whispered to the empty seat beside her, her voice barely audible over the hum of the aircraft.

"Forget all about it!" Her voice, stern and resolute, countered her longing.

"Why?" She challenged herself silently. "Am I not lovable?"

Andrei's lack of response echoed in her mind, a painful reminder of unspoken words and unexplored feelings.

"Or do you love somebody else?" Fides questioned, her heart heavy with uncertainty.

"I will answer you after we finish college," Andrei's voice, clear and decisive, echoed in her memory. "For now, let's focus on our studies."

"I will wait," Fides promised herself silently, her resolve unwavering. "But please don't avoid me. Promise I'll behave," she added, hoping against hope for a response.

Andrei's continued silence left her thoughts hanging in the air, unanswered and unresolved.

Andrei visited Fides' club only to know that Fides had gone home to the Philippines...