In The Crowd - B.E.

Chapter Thirty-Three - Billie

Y/n and I haven't really talked since we had our little fight two days ago. I know I told her I need time to think I just don't know what I'm thinking about. I just needed time. I need time. I don't know where we stand in our relationship right now, but I kind of don't care about that right now, to be honest. I mean, I do miss my girlfriend so much. It's just so much has happened that I need time to cool off and wait until I'm not as mad anymore. But I've started talking to her a little bit more. I'm mostly just saying very little amount of words.

I wake up and grab my phone. There's a good morning text from Y/n. I still haven't responded to any of her texts. I just stare at the text. She's told me her side of the story, and I know I should believe her, but some part of me just can't. I know she's telling the truth. She would never cheat on me. And she has been upset I've been avoiding her. I can tell by the look on her face. She looks like she hasn't been eating or sleeping. Which neither have I, but she looks sick. It makes me feel bad, but what else was I gonna do? Keep pretending like I knew nothing and waited for her to break up with me like I thought she was doing. No. Fuck that. And maybe I should've talked to her like she said, but it was just the heat of the moment. I didn't want to talk.

Y/n: Good morning

Me: Good morning

I'll start it this way. I think this will be good. I think it'll be better for both of us. I'm mostly doing it for myself because I need to think about myself first. Y/n is always telling me to do that. She wastes no time with texting me back. She asked how I slept and told me to have a good day and I told her to do the same.

I leave my room and go to Claudia and Finneas' room. I look down the hall to see Y/n in the hallway. She smiles at me and give her a small smile back. The door opens and Claudia lets me in. I watch as she looks down the hall to see what I am looking at.

"Are you guys talking yet? She's told me about how she's been texting you," I nod.

"She has. Ever since I ran off she's been texting me. I never responded until today. She texted me good morning and I finally decided to text back. We had a small conversation but other than that nothing else really,"

"Are you ever gonna talk to her again?"

"I think so. I just need time right now. Everything is so fucked up and I don't know what to believe right now. I mean, I know what I should believe but it's just hard right now," I tell her.

"I get it, but you're gonna have to talk to her eventually,"

"I know. I'm just gonna take it slow for right now. For my own sake. She's always telling me to put myself first and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm sure she'll understand,"

"She will. Sometimes I think she's way too understanding," I nod.

"I agree,"

"Oh, you're in here. I was wondering who you were talking to," Finneas says. "You ready for tonight?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Just six more shows and the tour will be over,"

"Yup. So enjoy it while it lasts," he tells me.

After the show, we all start making our way to the car to get back to the hotel. Y/n is walking behind me while my parents are on either side of me. I keep looking back at her. I mean, she looks a little happier but still has a sad look in her eyes.

"Dad, can you take my stuff for me?" He nods and grabs it and I walk over to walk next to Y/n. I don't say anything. I just grab her hand. I watch as a small smile forms across her face as she looks down at our hands. I smile too. I love seeing her happy.

By the time we get back to the hotel, we go to our separate rooms. I get into the shower and get ready for the night. My phone buzzes. Probably Y/n. I looked at my phone and it was. She asked how my day was and then asked how the show was.

Y/n: Open your door

Me: Why?

Y/n: Please just do it. I promise I'm not outside the door and look down

To be honest, I hope she is but I know she's not. If she says she's not, then she's not. I get up and go to the door. I open it and look down. I smile and laugh a little as I see a box of chocolates with a little card on it. I pick it up and open the card. In big letters, it reads 'I'm sorry' with a red heart next to it. It's all decorated with little drawings of my favorite things. I didn't know she could draw so well. On one side I see in small letters lyrics from one of my songs.

"I'll love you 'till the day that I die
'Till the day that die
'Till the light leaves my eyes
'Till the day that I die"

This woman, I swear to God. She's gonna be the death of me. I close my room door and walk down the hall to her room. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. No answer. I bet she's asleep. Should I knock again? No. If she's asleep I don't want to wake her. I start making my way back to my room until the door opens. I turn to see Y/n. I smile.

"Can I come in?" She smiles and nods. I put the chocolates on the desk and turned to look at her. "This is cute," I tell her, holding the card up.

"I was hoping you'd like it,"

"I love it," she avoids looking at me. I notice her picking at her fingers. I walk over and grab her hands so she stops. "Stop doing that," I say softly.

"I'm sorry. It's a bad habit. I do it when I'm upset,"

"You don't need to be sorry," I tell her. She finally looks at me. I notice that she's wearing one of my shirts. "You're wearing my shirt,"

"Oh, yeah. Do you want it back? I can give it back,"

"No, I don't. You look better in it anyway,"

"Oh, okay," she mumbles.

"Is it okay if I stay with you tonight?" She smiles.

"Yeah, yeah, you can if that's what you want. You can have the bed. I can sleep on the floor or something,"

"You're funny. You're not sleeping on the floor," I tell her and climb into the bed. "Come on," I say and she slowly walks over and gets into the bed next to me. I move closer to her and rest my head on her chest. I can tell she's confused and doesn't know what to do because she doesn't put her hands around me. After a few seconds, she finally does. It's quiet.

"Billie, I-" I cut her off.

"No, let's not talk right now. Let's just sleep," I tell her.

"Okay," she says and starts running her fingers through my hair. I smile. I've missed this.