THE HOURGLASS: GATES OF TIME

4 • SHOCKING NEWS

After some time of silence,
“ Your necklace is beautiful, La... Oh, sorry, but what's your name?”
He spoke to me as he looked at my necklace that was for my grandmother, “Lava, my name is Lava, yes it's beautiful, thank you,” I smiled and i touched the necklace with my fingers.

“Can I have it?” I looked at him in surprise, “What?”.
“Uh, I mean, as a souvenir from you, if it is possible, of course?” I felt that the roles suddenly reversed, as if I was the famous one, and he was the fan!

“I'm so sorry, it's my birthday gift and a souvenir from my grandmother," Jay was looking at me silently, and then he murmured , “yes, it's your birthday,”
Speaking like he knows my birthday and even emphasizes it.

“Um, I actually have nothing to give you right now, but maybe you want to take my watch? It's my favorite and the first watch I bought with my own  money, so it's precious to me,” I nervously extended it to him, hoping he would accept it.

“Yes, I'll take it, I'll keep it well. Lava, it's a souvenir from you in the end.” He drove me home after he took the address and helped me get out of the van.
“I'm so grateful you're here, Jay, and thank you for being my hero.” I know this is childish, but it is like that for me.
With a smile that didn't reach his eyes, he said
“And I'm grateful to see you today, goodbye, Lava.”

I woke up the next morning full of happiness. This was my best birthday. I looked at my necklace and smiled. 

I prepared myself and went out for breakfast to see my family gathered around the TV, “What’s going on? Is there any important news?”  Everyone looked at me, and my father spoke,

“Lava! There is shocking news!!” . 

I felt my heart clenching, 'I'm sure something bad has happened.'
“What's up, Dad?”
“Lava, your favorite singer Jay… has committed suicide.”  I looked with shocked eyes, “What? Dad, please don't joke with such things!”
I thought my father was joking, but his gaze at me and his silence confirmed to me that he was not joking. 

“Jay…is he really dead?!”  I repeated the question again.
My tears started falling, my heart hurts, and I feel as if I am suffocating and can't breathe.

I heard my parents’ voice calling for me, but my mind was not with them. I was only thinking about Jay. I kept repeating, “This is impossible! Jay can not die. He can't do this!! “

“He is the one who made me cling to this miserable life! How could he commit suicide? How could he not cling to his life, too! However, it was unbearable!” 
“How could you become selfish and make people cling to life when you don't!”  I screamed, angry at him, at myself, and at everything around me.
I was helpless and paralyzed, and yet I continued for his sake, but why didn't he do this?! 

I wondered over and over again as I looked at people placing flowers and candles at Jay's house.

My brother brought me to his house to give farewell to him like other people, but I did not approach the place or say goodbye.

I was angry with him. I would rather not say goodbye to him, so I just looked from afar. 

“Lava?!”  A familiar voice called out to me. I raised my head to look at this person, “Carl!”  He is Jay's friend and bandmate, but how does he know my name!!

“Did you come to say goodbye to Jay?”  He looked at me and spoke as if he had known me for a long time.
I couldn't say anything to him as I was confused. I didn't know what was going on!

“Sigh, Jay would have been happy to see you”
He smiled slightly.

“Excuse me, what are you saying? How do you know me ?”

He looked at me as if he had realized he had said something he shouldn't have said,
“I'm sorry for the way things turned out, but you should know that Jay was grateful that you were alive.” Then he turned to leave,

“What do you mean by that?"  He stood for a while and then left without looking at me. I called him, but to no avail, and so he left without explaining anything to me.