[ 032 ] Reprieve

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( ACT II. ── Uncertain Waters )
chapter thirty-two / Reprieve

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Fuck, it was nice to get away. The absence of racing had never been more welcome.

It was sad to think about, in a way. Something that Annika loved so much, so quickly becoming a burden that she had no choice but to carry. She still hadn't hounded up enough courage to tell anyone about her ultimatum ─ not Lando, not Matt, not anyone ─ it was a weight that she would bear alone for now.

It wasn't easy to distract herself. She managed, nevertheless.

This was an entirely new experience, sitting on a jet with Kerttu lounging at her feet, Lando at her side, his hand shamelessly caressing her knee beneath the table ─ not that he had any need to hide it right now. Annika's flight instinct was thrashing around like a wounded animal inside her, but she forced herself to remain grounded and focus on Max and Pietra sitting across from them. Being so open about things was radically terrifying in a way she hadn't expected.

They were halfway through a three-hour flight. Lando was speaking so casually to his friends about meaningless things that Annika felt insane. Did this not make him nervous? Or was she just incapable of adapting? She had barely said five words the whole time. Max and Pietra were sure to find her odd and unnerving.

Every so often, Lando would squeeze down on her knee, a gentle little assurance ─ she had to admit, it helped to keep her grounded.

Max slapped a card down. "Uno."

"You motherfucker," Lando swore.

Pietra shot an exasperated look towards Annika as she silently placed down a card of her own. The boys were taking this much more seriously than anticipated.

Annika was unreasonably shy. So much for being ready to show the world. She placed a card down without a word.

Over the past few weeks, she had been gradually developing the feeling that Lando had been raised a lot different than she was. He had grown up believing that life was to be trusted. On the other hand, somewhere along the way, Annika had been taught to go with her gut ─ if something scares you, get the hell out; everything will not be okay. Maybe that's why she managed to be so wise to all the shit that eventually came for her. She wanted desperately to grab Lando's hand and tell him don't get back on the horse, it will throw you. But he had such a casual confidence in the world that surrounded him, like anything that hurt him would meet its own retribution, like karma was real and bad people got what they deserved and the good people they hurt would recieve their settlement in the end ─ and Annika didn't know how to touch that. Maybe she was too cowardly and he was too arrogant, and the right place to be was somewhere in the middle. Either way, what could she do with that sort of information?

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