Shadows Of The Past

Chapter 2: Struggling to find my place

After the previous incident I decided to stick around with Amelia. We had known each other for five years, and she had always been someone I could count on. Now that Taryn and Dyla were distant, I decided to spend more time with Amelia.

Amelia was welcoming and kind. I thought being with her would help me feel less lonely. But there was a problem: her best friend, Lexi.

Lexi always seemed to interfere when Amelia and I were together. At lunch, when I tried to sit with Amelia, Lexi would whine and make a fuss. It was like she didn't want me around. It made things awkward and uncomfortable.

One day, I managed to sit with Amelia during lunch. We were having a great conversation about our favorite books when Lexi appeared out of nowhere. She didn't even say hi to me. She just grabbed Amelia's hand and pulled her away, leaving me alone at the table. I felt hurt and confused.

This kind of thing kept happening. Whenever I tried to get close to Amelia, Lexi would come between us. If we were talking between classes or making plans, Lexi would always find a way to take Amelia away. It was frustrating and made me feel like I didn't belong.

I couldn't figure out why Lexi acted this way. Maybe she was scared of losing her place as Amelia's best friend. Whatever the reason, Lexi saw me as a threat, not a friend.

Because of this, I started feeling more and more isolated. I wanted to be part of Amelia's world, to share in our friendship. But Lexi's constant interruptions made it clear that I wasn't welcome. I felt like I was always on the outside looking in.

Dealing with this situation made me cautious. The fear of being pushed away and not fitting in stayed with me. It made me wary of getting too close to others.

It was the night before our final exams. The pressure was on, and everyone was cramming to be ready for the big day. I was in my room, surrounded by my books and notes, trying to go over everything one last time. Suddenly, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Amelia.

"Hey, Zara. I don't have the notes for tomorrow's exam. Can you send them to me?"

At first, I hesitated. Memories of how Lexi always interrupted when I tried to get close to Amelia flooded my mind. Lexi had never wanted me around, and Amelia never stood up to her. She just let Lexi push me away, over and over again. I felt a pang of bitterness. Why should I help her now, especially when she never helped me when I needed a friend?

But despite these thoughts, I knew that wasn't who I was. I wasn't the kind of person to hold a grudge or let someone fail when I could help. So, after a deep sigh, I gathered my notes and sent them to Amelia.

"Thanks, Zara! You're a lifesaver!" she texted back quickly, but I didn't reply.

The next day, after the exam, I was sitting alone during lunch, as usual. I had gotten used to being on my own since Taryn and Dyla drifted away. I was quietly eating, lost in my thoughts, when I felt a presence beside me. I looked up and was surprised to see Amelia sitting down next to me.

"Hey, Zara," she said, giving me a small smile.

I blinked, confused. "Why are you sitting here? Where's Lexi?"

Amelia sighed and thanked me for sending her the notes. "I asked Lexi for the notes too," she began. "She told me she didn't have them done. But I saw her with them last week. I don't know why she lied to me, and I got so angry that I ended our friendship."

I was stunned. Lexi and Amelia had always been inseparable, and now they weren't friends anymore because of some notes? It seemed so unlike them. I could see the hurt in Amelia's eyes, but I didn't know what to say. I had wanted to be friends with Amelia for so long, but now, the desire has faded.

Amelia continued to stick close to me after that. She started sitting with me during lunch and even walked with me between classes. She seemed determined to be around me all the time. But something had changed inside me. The excitement and hope I once had about being Amelia's friend were gone. The years of trying to be close to her and being pushed away by Lexi had taken their toll.

I appreciated Amelia's company, but it wasn't the same. My wish to be her friend had worn out, and I wasn't interested in pursuing a friendship that had taken so much effort and heartache.

As the days went by, Amelia's attempts to bond with me became more noticeable, but my responses were lukewarm at best. I didn't have the energy to invest in a friendship that had already drained me so much.

Life had moved on, and so had I. Amelia's sudden interest felt like too little, too late. I realized that sometimes, the timing of friendships is just as important as the people in them.

Things got normal again between me,Taryn and Dyla. I started to stay with Taryn and dyla again but they paid me no attention they kept whispering and giggling over things and didn't share them with me. Feeling increasingly isolated, I told my mother about the situation. My mother was always wise and supportive, she advised me to talk to my friends about how I felt. "If you're all best friends, there shouldn't be any secrets," she said. "Tell them how you feel and see what they say."

The next day, with my heart pounding, I approached Taryn. "Why don't you tell me your secrets?" I asked, my voice trembling. "If you don't, I won't be your best friend anymore. Best friends don't keep secrets."

Taryn looked at me with a mixture of surprise and pity. "Zara," she said gently, "Dyla and I are best friends. You're just a friend."

(To be continued)