Why Can't I Hate You - matt sturniolo

not hungry

tw: this chapter will include the beginning of an eating disorder. if you could get triggered from this i suggest you don't read this chapter

  real life, messages

my heart dropped as i read the comments from the last video.

why is isa always eating in every clip?

ofc she's eating she's so fucking fat

she needs to not eat for once

she should starve herself. i mean look at her

i wanted to cry. i did cry. i cried for a long time. i also really thought about what they were saying. maybe it was true because i had been gaining a few pounds recently. i suddenly felt tired and went to bed

time skip
i woke up and it was 11:00. i was going to go and eat something from my kitchen but then i remembered what the comments were so i decided not to.

i got a text from nick saying that the triplets were going to pick me up in 10 minutes.

i felt my stomach rumble but i chose to ignore it. i decided to sit on the couch to wait for them.
soon enough i heard a loud honk and went outside.
"heyyyy! we are going to mcdonald's, do you want anything?" i heard nick ask.
i felt my heart drop. i forgot that it would be difficult to skip a few meals with the triplets.
"oh, uhhh. no i don't need anything i already ate." i lied.
"okay, suit yourself!" chris said
i looked down and buckled my seat belt as i tired not to focus on eating food.
i look up to see the triplets slightly arguing. i rolled my eyes.
"guys shut up, it's too early for yall to be fighting!"  i said.
"oh whatever isabella. like you can speak, you argue with me all the time." i heard matt's aggravating voice say.
"only because you deserve it." i say smugly.
he rolled his eyes while pulling up to the drive-through.
"isabella, what do you want?" matt asked
"nothing. i already ate."
"you always get something. what do you want?"
"nothing! okay? i'm not hungry!" i almost yelled
matt looked at me confused. i looked down matt instantly to avoid him. the last thing i need is for him to find out what im doing.

matt ordered and got our food. once he drove away chris started passing out the food. i looked over at nicks food. i was so hungry but i knew i couldn't cave. i sat there avoiding to look at anyone.
"hey? isa... you good?" i heard nicks voice
"huh? oh um im fine." i say hoping it was convincing.
when i looked up i saw matt looking at me funny. i chose to ignore it because i shouldn't let matt, of all people find out.

i looked at the window in silence. i'm hoping that i haven't given myself away yet.

we pulled up to the triplets house and went inside. nick went to his room with chris and i got some water.
"bells? are you sure you're ok?" matt asks me
"oh my god! i'm fine!! why does everyone keep asking me that?" i yell at him
"i'm just wondering! you haven't been as loud as usual." he said back.
"oh my god! you shouldn't even care! you hate me remember?" i shouted him
"i do! but that doesn't mean i can't be worried about you!" he shouted back.
"i can't deal with you right now! leave me alone!" i yelled at him.
he muttered under his breath something i couldn't hear and went to his room. i looked down as a tear went down my face.
i wiped my eyes and went into nicks room. this is going to be harder than i thought.

authors note
sorry this chapter took so long.
i couldn't think about what to do!
ALSO IM GOING TO WRITE A CHRIS FIC
soon
idk when but im going to start some of it
anyway hope you liked this chapter