Intro (theme plays)
Lily: Uh, yes, this is King Falls AM; 660 on the AM dial, this is Lily Wright filling in for Sammy and Ben tonight. I don't know if they want to keep all, you know, hush-hush about why they're not here, but this town is so damn tiny and I'm sure the weird dog store guy has already told everyone. Sammy and Ben are- are with Mr. Baumgartner for the time being. Mr. Sheffield's death? Possession? Shadowfication? Has been really hard for him. But, um, yeah. Anyway, Man-bun and the Shorter one are out tonight and you're stuck with me, so call on in, dear listeners. (papers rustle as she reads notes) or I guess tweet in @KingfallsSammy or pictures of racoons to @KingfallsAm.
(dial clicks)
Lily: And line five: you are live. Talk to me.
Archie: Pomchies.
Lily: What?
Archie: Pomchies. They're not weird dogs. They're the cutest little bitches this side of anywhere! And two for one if you come in today to Archies Pomchi Palace!
Lily: Ah, yes, thank you for the clarification, sir.
Archie: Even if you are right about me being the town gossip. But it does mean that I am popular.
Lily: I hope you can use that popularity to sell some of those pups. What does a Pomchi even look like?
Archie: What?!
Lily: What's wrong?
Archie: You've lived in this town for how long now?
Lily: Well sleeping on Ben's couch might not really be living here, but maybe two? Three months?
Archie: Damn well a year if you count the motel in Twin Pines, and you're telling me you've never visited my Pomchi Palace?
Lily: To be fair, I've been pretty busy helping the others get my brother out of a demon shadow pit of creepy awfulness.
Archie: And you know what combats creepy icky awfulness?
Lily: What?
Archie: Pomchis!!
Lily: Well I'll take you up on that sometime.
Archie: Well to make sure you don't forget-! (plays his ad here)
(phone click)
Lily: Thank you for that (hotline rings) And that's the hotline! Talk to me.
Ben: (panicked) Is everything okay there? All the mics working okay? I noticed you weren't bleeping stuff out earlier, is the bleeper working okay? Is-
Lily: Yes, Medium-height stack. Everything is fine.
Ben: Medium height stack?
Lily: Yes, well, certain badass librarians have enforced a lack of short jokes that I am attempting to respect.
Ben: Technically, I would be an Average Height Stack. Medium rage and all.
Lily: Potato, slightly different potato. Is Mr. Baumgartner doing alright?
Ben: Uh, yeah, sort of. Sammy is playing Uno with him and I'm trying to hide all the Sofa King Beer I possibly can. There's an ungodly amount here. Like in the bathroom, in the pillows, good god, I've found three in a chandelier?
Lily: Don't tell me too much or I'll start taking notes.
Ben: Good point. Anyway, Troy is gonna come over and take a shift. Emily is going to give Sammy and me a ride back to the station so we should be there in a few. We figure the bigger groups the better.
